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One of the most basic ways to grow the spiritual dimension of your life is to consciously invite Spirit into whatever you’re doing. It’s like there’s a friend who’s been hanging out in the background while you eat and work and exercise, and you’re saying, “Oh, I forgot you were there. Would you like to join me?”
Doing so doesn’t require any particular spiritual or religious orientation. Even if you’re an atheist, you can probably still conceive of a Highest Self – an aspect of you that, in a way, is more You than any of the various personalities, thought patterns, or styles you’ve had throughout your life. It’s a stable, enduring, virtuous witness to everything you’ve been and done.
Our ability to sense this presence, whatever we choose to call it, waxes and wanes. Same with the degree to which we let it guide us. As these factors increase (more awareness and willingness to be guided), we experience a corresponding increase in trust, an expanded perspective, and less overwhelm. The feeling of being small and helpless in a big scary world diminishes.
If you haven’t done this much (or at all) it can feel at first like you’re hanging out with an imaginary friend. Is this real? Are they still in the room? It’s especially common if this is a dimension you’ve barely tuned in to. You’re used to giving most of your attention to relatively tangible and superficial planes of existence – media and culture, your possessions, your body, your thoughts and emotions. Over time the sense of opening to something bigger and subtler becomes more palpable. Simply remembering and intending to invite this Consciousness into more of your experiences makes a difference.
To get started, you could just try quieting your mind for a moment and saying hello. Hello, Source. Hello, Highest Self. Hello, Divine Light. Then be still and see if you notice anything. I believe we are that Source experiencing itself as a human being. There is no true separation, only the veil of the mind (which can be quite obscure). Your Highest Self wants to be perceived and known and consciously channeled.
Here are some other possible invitations:
Come on this hike with me. Help me notice what I usually miss.
Show me what I need to see for my healing and evolution.
Let me stay present and accepting through this event.
Let’s experience the act of eating delicious food together.
Let me see this through the eyes of my Highest Self / Spirit / God / Unconditional Love / Awareness.
But it’s not just the pleasant things that are worth inviting Spirit into. . .
I let you into my fear so that you may share it, illuminate it, transform it.
Come into my pain; please be with me in this suffering.
I invite you into my grief, as this, too, is part of the human experience.
Enter this crazy situation with me, Highest Self, and give me perspective.
Join me, Divine Light, in my depression, and hold me.
These painful states inevitably change when we open them to the spiritual dimension. It’s the simplest thing to do, yet sometimes the hardest to remember. This message is for me as much as it is for you.
Be well,
Peter
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June 22nd is my wife Briana’s birthday. She’s the Dragontree’s founder and fearless leader.
On the way to art school at age 18, she was in a car accident and broke her neck. It changed the course of her life. She never made it to art school, instead spending the following six months in a brace at home in Montana. During her rehabilitation period she received massage and this kindled an interest in the healing arts.
She decided to go to massage school in Portland, and later to California College of Ayurveda to learn the traditional medical system of India. When we met, she was a massage therapist at a little spa in Portland and also a professional belly dancer. Less than a year later, she was opening her own spa. She was just 23 then.
I helped with the planning and painting, but she has always been the engine and visionary. I’ve watched her grow tremendously in the 20 years that we’ve been together. Besides her business acumen, she has an incredible knack for making spaces beautiful. She’s an amazing mother and wife. She is generous and kind and funny. She’s a pretty good guitar player, too.
The funny thing is, for probably the first 15 years we were together she had these moments of insecurity when she would ask me with despair in her voice, “What am I doing with my life?!” It was as if she saw herself as floundering and aimless.
It’s interesting how outsiders sometimes see our gifts more clearly than we do. In this case, my response came so easily. “Well,” I would say, “you have built spas where thousands of people have come to feel better. You’ve created programs and courses to educate, uplift, and support people’s healing. You’ve written books. You’ve provided jobs for probably a thousand people over the years. You’re a mother and wife. You beautify the world. You’re a great friend. You’re always trying to be your best self. You’re good at Boggle – though not as good as me. I think that’s a pretty good start.”
I’m not sure if what I said was helpful in a lasting way. But over time, and especially as she began to do more spiritual and coaching work, there was an ever-growing group of people who said to her, “You changed my life for the better.” And I think it started to sink in. She doesn’t ask me what she’s doing with her life anymore.
From all of us whose lives have been made better by our association with you, Briana Borten, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We love you.
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One of my favorite sections of our Dreambook occupies only two-thirds of a page. It’s about discovering your core values. It’s easy to skip it. I know you could go through life only rarely, if ever, giving a thought to your core values. Or you could complete this part – choosing some appealing words from our list of suggestions, such as kindness, honesty, openness and love – and then quickly forget what you chose and why.
But what if we called them needs instead? What if I said, virtually everything you do is motivated by an attempt to get one or more of these values / needs met, and the same is true for everyone else? How might your communications be different if you could perceive the core values that are driving you and others?
A lot changes when we understand the underlying needs that move us, especially when we’re in conflict. For instance, the other day I was on the phone with a company that had really under-delivered on the large sum we paid for their services. I found myself getting angry and raising my voice even though I realized that the agent I was speaking with probably had nothing to do with it.
As I tuned in to figure out the underlying need that was pushing me, I realized it was fairness. Just to name it out loud felt better. “This isn’t fair,” I said. “It was reasonable to expect your company would do . . . but you didn’t, and then you still charged us the full amount.”
When we hit upon the value at the root of some conflict, we often feel more grounded in the situation – even if the circumstances don’t change. Here are five reasons why:
First, if we’re unaware of the core need behind our upset, we’re usually run instead by our feelings and the belief that things aren’t going our way. As soon as we see the need, there’s clarity: “Ah. This is what I value. This is what’s really driving me.”
Second, when we discover the underlying need and recognize that it’s a value, it’s easy to expand from “I want this for me” to “I want this for everyone.” This gives us perspective that lifts us out of the small feelings that are often engendered by the involvement of our inner child. With regard to fairness, the inner child of course understands “no fair!” from a self-centered point of view, but the mature inner adult grasps big picture fairness in a way that goes beyond one’s personal wants.
Third, it makes us more effective at getting another person to see our point of view when we know the core value that’s inspiring us.
Fourth, we can make rational, direct requests to achieve resolution because we know what we’re aiming for.
Fifth, when we know the need, we can almost always find more than one way to get it met.
I encourage you to consider this perspective when you’re working on the Core Values section of your Dreambook. If you’re having trouble, consider something you feel strongly about and ask yourself, “What would I get out of this?” Keep asking until you get to a refined, one word answer.
If you have about a situation like mine that you feel unsettled about, ask yourself, “What could have been done to resolve this or make it better?” And then ask yourself, “Why would that be better? What would I have?”
Also look at positive motivations. For example: Why do I like running? It keeps me healthy. What else? I release stress. I feel free. I feel strong. I feel connected to my higher self. These are great ways to home in on underlying values. Besides the list of sample core values in the Dreambook, consider these others: Peace. Security. Choice. Freedom. Creativity. Organization. Loyalty. Cleanliness. Clarity. Ease. Justice.
As you go through your day, check in a few times and see if you can discern what needs/values are currently moving you. Let’s try it right now. What motivated you to read this article? What do hope to get out of it? A feeling of peace? A feeling of achievement? Learning or greater self-awareness? Better communication and relationships? Clarity? Whatever you come up with, is that the value itself, or do you need to take it a step deeper to get to the value?
I believe that when we do the work to know ourselves deeply, this not only serves us personally, our clarity also benefits the community around us.
Be well,
Peter
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One of the most basic ways to grow the spiritual dimension of your life is to consciously invite Spirit into whatever you’re doing. It’s like there’s a friend who’s been hanging out in the background while you eat and work and exercise, and you’re saying, “Oh, I forgot you were there. Would you like to join me?”
Doing so doesn’t require any particular spiritual or religious orientation. Even if you’re an atheist, you can probably still conceive of a Highest Self – an aspect of you that, in a way, is more You than any of the various personalities, thought patterns, or styles you’ve had throughout your life. It’s a stable, enduring, virtuous witness to everything you’ve been and done.
Our ability to sense this presence, whatever we choose to call it, waxes and wanes. Same with the degree to which we let it guide us. As these factors increase (more awareness and willingness to be guided), we experience a corresponding increase in trust, an expanded perspective, and less overwhelm. The feeling of being small and helpless in a big scary world diminishes.
If you haven’t done this much (or at all) it can feel at first like you’re hanging out with an imaginary friend. Is this real? Are they still in the room? It’s especially common if this is a dimension you’ve barely tuned in to. You’re used to giving most of your attention to relatively tangible and superficial planes of existence – media and culture, your possessions, your body, your thoughts and emotions. Over time the sense of opening to something bigger and subtler becomes more palpable. Simply remembering and intending to invite this Consciousness into more of your experiences makes a difference.
To get started, you could just try quieting your mind for a moment and saying hello. Hello, Source. Hello, Highest Self. Hello, Divine Light. Then be still and see if you notice anything. I believe we are that Source experiencing itself as a human being. There is no true separation, only the veil of the mind (which can be quite obscure). Your Highest Self wants to be perceived and known and consciously channeled.
Here are some other possible invitations:
Come on this hike with me. Help me notice what I usually miss.
Show me what I need to see for my healing and evolution.
Let me stay present and accepting through this event.
Let’s experience the act of eating delicious food together.
Let me see this through the eyes of my Highest Self / Spirit / God / Unconditional Love / Awareness.
But it’s not just the pleasant things that are worth inviting Spirit into. . .
I let you into my fear so that you may share it, illuminate it, transform it.
Come into my pain; please be with me in this suffering.
I invite you into my grief, as this, too, is part of the human experience.
Enter this crazy situation with me, Highest Self, and give me perspective.
Join me, Divine Light, in my depression, and hold me.
These painful states inevitably change when we open them to the spiritual dimension. It’s the simplest thing to do, yet sometimes the hardest to remember. This message is for me as much as it is for you.
Be well,
Peter
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thank you this is awesome!
Beautifully said!!
Thank you!!
Beautiful…I truly believe I wouldnt be where I am today without my challenges.
I am currently going through an extremely difficult time with recent diagnosis of my Mother’s stage 4 cancer. This will not resolve itself until she goes through it and will eventually end in her passing. I am working to stay present through this and I know there will be times when this will be my greatest life challenge. Yet somewhere in me I also know it will be my greatest life lesson, and although she doesn’t realize it, her greatest gift to me. I don’t even think I know how difficult this will actually be. I can only hold space for her, my family and myself. I do have a certain curiosity as to how this will all unfold. Right now I am keeping faith and trust that even this is for the highest good. Now to see if I can maintain that.
Karen, May blessings of the world hold & carry you and yours immediately and through this most difficult time. There is honor in your presence…thank you for such.
Karen, I feel for you as, I myself had a Mother that had a Diagnosis with Stage 4 Ovarian & Bladder Cancer. The sad thing is I lost her on November 19, 2017. She was a Rock for me, one of my bestest friends and I could count on her to always be there for me and my family( she was a gift for me). So, I had a hard time, but with signs from a higher power and faith… I have healed! See, My daughter, her granddaughter was pregnant with my Grandson. He was due to be born when she passed. But, because I know in my heart and she told me, she wouldn’t be to first to hold him, that he wasn’t born until Dec 19th one month. She held in Heaven, and kissed him! As, when he was born placed on his for head was a beautiful birthmark. He is now one of my most precious gifts and I will always have a reminder that she loved us very much and is watching over us because of he kiss.
Karen, your love and care formyour mother is wonderful. I am a cancer survivor, and have always felt the process was far more difficult for my daughters than for me. Let the specialists take care of her body while you take care and enjoy her spirit. Blessings to you.
I discovered when being open and sharing a certain struggle with others and thus admitting my vulnerability, they felt free to share their vulnerability. For some, they shared something that they had not shared with anyone else. We are in this together!
I love you MORE each time you teach, Briana!
I know my heart and I drink, with gratitude, every opportunity I am able from Dragontree.
This a.m., I see with more clarity! Women are key “vessels” to feeding and watering the next generation’s, roots. My heart is vested in the next generation. Having ample “watering from a mother’s vessel” allows the world’s children exponential ability to create a “more peaceful world”. I newly see the more vessels I can teach to “hold water”, the more feeding of those, next, generation roots can be done. This “came” to my mind watching you just now; I learned deeply, with profound emotion and am grateful.
I will stop skirting my soul lessons! No wonder the “silver lining” process you discussed was not working and actually causing “stagnation” for me! I am going to dig in and explore the beautiful (ok…awful, under appreciated) MUD!!
Might I share a personal “mud” analogy?
Last week, I purchased a very wicked looking shovel with five, yes, FIVE very sharp points. Though time was short and I was to be headed to a workshop I immediately drove home. Upon arrival I was really “wanting” to feel if this tool was going to work the way I hoped; so I immediately left my car, new purchase in hand, and dug roughly five holes. Becoming enthused about the shovel’s abilities proved to be my wisest choice. I couldn’t wait to get back to using this tool.
The next opportunity to explore the shovel capabilities was a day later, in the drizzling rain. Yes, residing in Beaverton, Oregon…one doesn’t wait for sunshine in April. I “joyfully dug” (normally an oxymoron) in one of my gardens for over two hours. The shovel penetrated deeply, with ease, pulling fourteen inch roots from the ground. I was learning that a very difficult task (digging) could become a true joy…clearly seeing and experiencing the mud. The blue color of garden shoes was covered with INCHES of mud. My pants and raincoat smeared brown.
The area I worked was now ready to nurture a garden; I saw wormy, healthy, mud. My huge, 60 gallon, yard debris garbage can over half-filled with ROOTED young, prickly, thistle. I’d set aside a huge pile of dandelion-&-roots to enjoy exploring via making cookies and teas.
As a result, when you taught “mud” my soul was prepared to hear and WANTING to go to work IN and not skirt around that difficult, challenging patch of land which I had fought so hard to “skirt” believing, too many years, that I did not have the ABILITY to conquer.
I had paid others to weed and feed this garden area for many years, clearing the land and always adding good soil. Working the mud myself I see they didn’t have a vested interest in digging the roots. The ground appeared clear yet the voracious weed roots grew more tenacious.
I understood, from DT teachings, “stagnation/disease ” but I didn’t understand the requirement to face “digging in the mud”.
Always been most grateful for the ability to use my rose-colored-glasses that seem to self-paint, stagnant, silver linings…
Yet the sharply needled, painful, thistle were underground gaining size and deeply rooted strength, expanding and sucking all the water from the soil, resulting in ever worsening environment.
Your glowing spirit beautifully emanated the light today that I needed to understand. So grateful to you, Peter and the ACTION you take to implement Dragontree’s world vision.
Some of my mud may be turned to clay…hard as concrete not being disturbed for decades. I want to learn the lessons not merely suffer the “silver skirted” falsely beautiful walk around a garden appearing to be planted with the best organic vegetables but rooted with thistles.
The answer is entering and working IN-the-mud!! Bless you, Beautiful Woman and MOTHER (gentle, loving, teacher to the world).
Thank you for your comment! I have been in a very dark time for several months now since the betrayal and following breakup of what I thought was a lifelong relationship. I find myself now alone at age 65 with no job or home. Always before in my life I too worked superficially in my garden. But during these months, with much help from great teachers such as Brianna, I have been digging out the thistle and uncovering all the hidden obstacles of my past. I am now seeing this change in my life as a beautiful opportunity and am looking forward to the beautiful garden the remainder of my life will become.
There are times to reflect about the dark and tough times. Most important to remember is there is something there to learn. Only you know that on what it is to learn and absolutely one needs to be honest with themselves when doing this. Doing this can be very profound in one’s life and make it possible to become closer to you and who you are or who you strive to be.
This was a good video. “Being in the challenge” and that it is okay is not something I believe we are allowed to do all the time. We’re taught and/or encouraged to “suck it up,” “deal,” and “get over it.” I think that plays into what you mentioned about ways people cope – food, alcohol, and work.