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Over the last couple weeks, I’ve been posting excerpts from our upcoming book on our three-part foundation for forging a successful and balanced life: structure, sweetness, and space. First, I explained how sweetness can be scheduled liberally into our lives, and how we can infuse it into otherwise mundane tasks and settings to elevate them – and ourselves. Next, I explained how structure is vital in healthy change and accomplishment, and it’s the means by which sweetness becomes integrated into every day. Finally, there’s space, the hardest thing for people to recognize and value, and the most essential for the fullest awakening of a human soul.
Space is the crucible in which sweetness and structure interact to yield a life that feels inspired, meaningful, and fun. Space is where we connect to Spirit. Space is where we find ourselves. In space we can come to understand our shadow and learn the depths of our potential. Space is where we listen – not to our media, our voice, or our own thoughts, but to the silence that holds it all, to the Truth that’s tapping on the window of our consciousness. Alignment and healing can’t occur without the openness that space provides. Insight and creativity are possible only with space. Sweetness needs space in order to be rooted in authenticity and to penetrate, engage, and feed the deepest parts of ourselves. Structure needs space for perspective; it doesn’t breathe without space.
Many traditions have a term equating to space – as the “emptiness” from which everything is born. In Daoism, it is called Wuji, the limitless, boundless, or most literally, the non-polar. That is, it’s where our expanded consciousness resides, which isn’t polarized, doesn’t need to take a position, and is simply open. In Buddhism, it is Sunyata – emptiness, openness, or spaciousness – the space in which the soul is unconfined by the mind. In Ayurveda, it is Akasha – space or ether – the origin and essence of the entire material world.
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When we make space in our consciousness, there’s a place for answers and intuition to come in. I’ve attempted to conceptualize this in the diagram below:
Besides the expansion that space enables in us, there’s another great reason to make space a priority: it’s the antithesis and solution to our addiction to the data stream that dominates our lives and attaches us to our devices. All the time we spend plugged in to the massive flow of information and ideas, we’re disconnected from the magic of the natural world around us. Even though we know in our hearts that there’s nothing more precious than the space in which we discover what we’re connected to, we’ve made some pretty deep agreements with our mind to let it run the show, and that means working hard to fill every possible bit of space. Minds don’t like space.
So, this week, I encourage you to strike a compromise with your mind. Ask it to take a break for a while, and promise it that you’ll give it some really juicy reading or a Sudoku later. Then go be. And say hi to space for me.
With love,
Dr. Peter Borten
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As we approach the American Thanksgiving holiday, for the first time ever we have to use the term “American Thanksgiving.” We always have so much to be thankful for, but this year it’s a little different because we’ve made big strides in expanding how we perform our mission in the world.
For most of our existence, The Dragontree has been followed by the words “Holistic Day Spa.” But, beginning a few years ago, we became more than a spa when we launched our natural and therapeutic product line. In the past year, we started an online course in nutrition, we launched our whole-health magazine called WELL, and we published our Dreambook – resources to more effectively help you become your most vibrant, centered, and peaceful self. Our redesigned website just went live, which will make it easier for you to explore all the wonderful things we offer.
While we continue to devote ourselves to ensuring exceptional healing experiences for the patrons of our spas, our new offerings enable us to help clients in more diverse ways and to reach an audience far beyond our beloved cities of Portland and Boulder. We have emerging relationships with people in dozens of countries around the world, and we are delighted and honored to be able to make a difference in your lives.
We have the deepest gratitude for being able to dedicate ourselves to this work, and to be able to witness the healing and accomplishments of those who have crossed our paths.
Thank you.
Briana and Dr. Peter Borten
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Over the years of getting to know the graduates of our life coach training program, I’ve found that everyone has a special gift (or several). One that’s especially beautiful to witness is the gift of seeing the light in people.
When we see someone’s light, we help bring it forth. We encourage them to remember who they are beyond their problems. It’s an incredible service. Do you have this skill?
We’re wired to focus on flaws. It goes all the way back to our most animalistic survival mechanisms. Problems can alert us to danger. A pain in our foot might be telling us that it’s inside an alligator’s mouth. A crack in a wall might mean that it’s about to come crashing down on us. So we fixate on the negative.
In today’s minds, the thoughts and observations that emerge from this survival mechanism look more like . . . I should be in better shape. I’m not productive enough. I’m missing out. There’s something wrong with me. I’m probably going to get cancer. People don’t like me. My skin looks bad. I don’t have enough money. I’m never going to do anything impressive with my life.
These judgments are almost always useless and inaccurate. And because we’re usually only semi-conscious of them, they tend to go unchallenged. The result of spending more energy thinking about what’s wrong than what’s right is an epidemic obstruction of the light within us. We forget that who/what we really are is perfect, peaceful, and powerful.
Resurrecting our light has two facets: (1) clearing away whatever obstructs it; and (2) inviting the light to shine within and beyond us, making ourselves beacons in the world.
When you make a practice of seeing the light in others, your own will naturally emerge. As you go through your day, try to see the light in each person you encounter. Even someone who tells you everything’s going wrong if their life. Even the cop that’s writing you a speeding ticket. Even the politician you dislike.
What happens when you speak directly to someone’s light? What changes about your interaction? What happens when you communicate from your light to theirs?
Part of why we feel this is such an essential aspect of life coach training is that you may be the only one in a given individual’s life who’s actively looking for their light. You may be the only one who notices that it’s been obscured but believes it’s still in there. The person themselves may barely realize what’s happened or understand why life feels heavy. Their friends and family may be in the same boat, or they may be so accustomed to seeing them this way that they simply reflect back an attitude that seems to confirm that “this is just how you are.”
It’s a gift to both you and the other party to focus on their virtuous core and call it forth with an inner attitude of, “Regardless of what you tell me of your challenges and limitations, and regardless of your history, I see what’s inside you. I know what you have the potential to be.”
If reading this feels thrilling, like your heart is saying, “Yes! I want to do this for my fellow humans!” then I encourage you to join the Dragontree Life Coach training program. Even if you aren’t in a position to change careers, it’s a learning and growing experience that will deeply enrich your life and forever change how to relate to others.
Be well,
Peter
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Over the last couple weeks, I’ve been posting excerpts from our upcoming book on our three-part foundation for forging a successful and balanced life: structure, sweetness, and space. First, I explained how sweetness can be scheduled liberally into our lives, and how we can infuse it into otherwise mundane tasks and settings to elevate them – and ourselves. Next, I explained how structure is vital in healthy change and accomplishment, and it’s the means by which sweetness becomes integrated into every day. Finally, there’s space, the hardest thing for people to recognize and value, and the most essential for the fullest awakening of a human soul.
Space is the crucible in which sweetness and structure interact to yield a life that feels inspired, meaningful, and fun. Space is where we connect to Spirit. Space is where we find ourselves. In space we can come to understand our shadow and learn the depths of our potential. Space is where we listen – not to our media, our voice, or our own thoughts, but to the silence that holds it all, to the Truth that’s tapping on the window of our consciousness. Alignment and healing can’t occur without the openness that space provides. Insight and creativity are possible only with space. Sweetness needs space in order to be rooted in authenticity and to penetrate, engage, and feed the deepest parts of ourselves. Structure needs space for perspective; it doesn’t breathe without space.
Many traditions have a term equating to space – as the “emptiness” from which everything is born. In Daoism, it is called Wuji, the limitless, boundless, or most literally, the non-polar. That is, it’s where our expanded consciousness resides, which isn’t polarized, doesn’t need to take a position, and is simply open. In Buddhism, it is Sunyata – emptiness, openness, or spaciousness – the space in which the soul is unconfined by the mind. In Ayurveda, it is Akasha – space or ether – the origin and essence of the entire material world.
A related term in ancient Chinese philosophy is Tian, meaning heavens or sky. In Daoist cosmology, there are three realms of existence – the heavenly realm above us (tian), the earthly realm below us (di), and the human realm between, where we blend the qualities of heavens and earth and live in the dynamic swirl between these poles. The heavenly realm is considered to be the domain of pure Yang – the creative force and the intangible spiritual origin of everything. And the earthly realm is considered the domain of pure Yin – of substance and form. The ancient glyph for earth was three stacked broken horizontal lines:
As you can see, the breaks in the three lines form a sort of vertical trough in the middle. The quintessential character of the earthly realm is receptive, and this opening in the earth indicates that it’s a vessel – a vessel to receive and hold the spiritual qualities of the heavenly realm. This is how “heaven on earth” occurs – by our making space in ourselves, to be vessels for the truth of our vast undifferentiated awareness.
When we make space in our consciousness, there’s a place for answers and intuition to come in. I’ve attempted to conceptualize this in the diagram below:
Besides the expansion that space enables in us, there’s another great reason to make space a priority: it’s the antithesis and solution to our addiction to the data stream that dominates our lives and attaches us to our devices. All the time we spend plugged in to the massive flow of information and ideas, we’re disconnected from the magic of the natural world around us. Even though we know in our hearts that there’s nothing more precious than the space in which we discover what we’re connected to, we’ve made some pretty deep agreements with our mind to let it run the show, and that means working hard to fill every possible bit of space. Minds don’t like space.
So, this week, I encourage you to strike a compromise with your mind. Ask it to take a break for a while, and promise it that you’ll give it some really juicy reading or a Sudoku later. Then go be. And say hi to space for me.
With love,
Dr. Peter Borten
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