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When a patient comes in to see me, I get a brief opportunity to facilitate a shift toward the positive. I might overhaul their diet, give them exercises, insert acupuncture needles, or prescribe some medicine. It’s clear that these interventions help. But when I look back at the treatments that were major turning points for people, about half the time what made the difference was something I said.
Most of what I say is pretty simple stuff. The more simple, the bigger the potential impact. All the essential truths of the great spiritual traditions are simple. But they’re underappreciated and easily forgotten. There’s so much other stuff vying for priority real estate in our minds. And in a time when we put so much value on complexity – science, for instance – simple concepts don’t get taken seriously. Someone once said, The truth is simple. If it were complicated, everyone would get it.
The nice part about profound truths being simple is that you don’t have to work so hard. Stop trying to have all the answers; just listen and remember what you already know. The simple truth I want to share with you today is one you are undoubtedly familiar with: positive thinking makes good things happen. If someone said to you, “I have the solution to most of your problems: think positive,” you might say, “I have the solution to why nobody likes you: unsolicited, crappy advice.” But I urge you to reconsider.
If you consistently had positive thoughts about your life, do you know what would happen? You would feel consistently positive about your life. And that pretty much constitutes a good life, doesn’t it? Regardless of whether or not your life is exactly the way you want it to be, if you cultivate positive thoughts, your consciousness – your experience of life – will be more positive. Isn’t that what really matters? Your perspective is more important than your circumstances. Wouldn’t you rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable? If you’re happy, you’re happy.
But it’s not just a mind trick where you fool yourself into being thrilled by a pathetic life. As you make a habit of forging positive thoughts, you become a more positive person, and then the objective circumstances of your life change. Have you ever met someone who was really successful and also super positive? Which do you think came first? I would venture to guess it was the positive part.
The tricky aspect – or so it seems to a mind that loves complication– is actually remembering to think positively. Many people feel it’s not their innate nature to be positive, or that life circumstances have made it difficult to be an optimist. But they have just made a habit of focusing on and emphasizing negative viewpoints. It’s true that the glass is both half empty and half full. Both perspectives are valid, but they are not equally meaningful observations. The optimist focuses on what is and the pessimist on what isn’t.
Like the song goes, accentuate the positive. Here’s how:
- Look and listen for good signs, positive news, beauty, and fascinating things, and then latch onto them, talk about them, share them, savor them, amplify them, run with them. Imagine you just tapped into a vein of gold in the earth, and now you want to follow that vein. Jump from one good thing to the next. Make a game out of it.
- Create more positivity in the world. This is especially important if you find it hard to arouse your own optimism. Instigate positivity in people around you, even if you feel dark inside. Create the vein of gold that you can then follow, by asking people about their lives, their kids, their dreams. You will ignite a light in someone else that will lead you in the right direction. Then keep doing it. Deliver genuine compliments. Help others to see the positive side of whatever they’re grappling with. It’s often easier to do for others than for yourself.
- Get out of the dirt. Following the gold vein is as much a matter of not choosing to veer into the dirt as it is a choice to follow the gold. Catch yourself choosing to indulge in negativity and be disciplined about shifting your attention to something else. It’s like breaking an addiction. Notice which of your acquaintances have a “this sucks” mentality and (a) hang out with them less (b) laugh internally at everything negative they say – lightly, not disparagingly (c) don’t let them throw you off your gold vein. Also, stop watching Breaking Bad. Choose your media consumption consciously.
- Tweet/post/comment responsibly. The stories and opinions you choose to share shape who you are in the world – plus who and what you attract. Are you a positive influence on your environment or a negative one? Before you click “Post,” look at what you’ve written. If it’s snarky or amounts to “Doesn’t this suck?” just delete it. You won’t feel any regret.
- Respond with humor to situations that would otherwise make you angry, irritated, or anxious. I know it’s hard, but if your habit is to relinquish the whole gold vein just because of some stupid situation, you simply cannot engage with it in an adversarial way. Be imperturbable. Go on a drama fast. Stay committed to your positivity.
- Lose the belief that finding problems and errors makes you smart or likeable. People who enjoy finding what’s wrong with everything rarely care as much about looking for solutions.
- Know what you want. Most of us spend so much time thinking about our current problems and the undesired future situations we hope to avoid that we have a clearer sense of what we don’t want than what we do want. Know with laser-like precision what kind of life you want and replace the habit of dwelling on what you don’t want with savoring the anticipation of getting what you do want.
Once you’re in the zone, let’s go have some tea together. Positive people are fun to be around. I wonder what cool thing you’ll do next.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => The Truth is Simple. Start Feeling Better.
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I believe we need about 364 more celebrations of Thanksgiving in a year, and not because we need more reasons to overeat and watch football. Giving thanks is good for us. Need some proven reasons? Here they are.
- It makes you happier. Numerous studies have shown that expressing gratitude, journaling about what we're grateful for, and paying attention to the good things in our lives makes us feel more happy.
- It improves your relationships. Being aware of what we’re thankful for makes us more helpful and understanding. People who express gratitude for their partner feel more positively about that person. They also tend to feel more comfortable about expressing relationship concerns (so they can get worked out!).
- It increases your self-esteem. A practice of feeling appreciative for our live circumstances tends to make us feel better about ourselves.
- It reduces depression and anxiety. Simply taking the time to write about what they were grateful for resulted in lower rates of depression and anxiety in study participants – even 12 weeks later.
- It enhances brain function. Gratitude exercises have been shown to cause a lasting activation of a part of the brain called the medial prefrontal cortex, associated with higher thought and increased sensitivity.
- It makes you appear more trustworthy to others. When someone regularly expresses gratitude, others interpret this to indicate they are trustworthy and this strengthens social connections.
- It makes you more resilient. When we focus on what we’re thankful for, even during times of hardship, it reinforces feelings of self-trust and helps us to remember the blessings that can’t be lost or taken away.
- It expands the spiritual dimension of your life. Gratitude practices tend to strengthen our spiritual connection, probably because they prompt us to listen, look, and feel more deeply. They may attune us to a benevolent higher power that’s looking out for us, give us perspective of the path we’re on, and help us to see the goodness in what seems unfortunate on the surface.
- It makes you more generous. When we routinely express gratitude, we’re less self-centered and more giving.
- It lowers blood pressure, enhances your sleep, increases your likelihood of exercising, and improves overall health. Don’t put all your eggs in this basket, but regular expressions of gratitude support modest physical health gains.
- It diminishes the weight of your burdens. Focusing on what we appreciate has the simultaneous effect of lessening the intensity of whatever we’re struggling with.
Besides whatever special gains a gratitude practice may have, I feel there’s one main reason to do it, and that’s because life is a gift and each of us has the power to choose how we relate to it. Expressing gratitude is an act of cutting through the illusions that tell us otherwise. It’s about fiercely claiming this truth. It’s about claiming your light and shining it brightly.
Among many other things, I am grateful for all of you who have supported us. I’m grateful to have this forum to explore topics of depth in health, nature, and spirituality. And I’m grateful to be able to do my work in this way and have a positive impact on others’ lives.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Focus on the Good
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How do we pick up the pieces after a natural disaster like the one we just experienced?
Living in Boulder, we’ve all grown accustom to hearing about cleanses, and now we’ve communally experienced one.
I have many friends, myself included, who have either lost their possessions or their homes, and chances are you’ve either been affected or know someone affected by this flood. So it’s understandable if it seems like a daunting task finding the silver lining in all this, especially when we have yet to see that ever promising rainbow show up in the sky. However, this tragedy can be a blessing in disguise. Despite the physical losses and the challenges that will inevitably come with rebuilding our lives and homes, many of us have been given a rare opportunity at a fresh start.
Living in Boulder has been such a blessing. Without question, this place embodies ecologic progressiveness, mindfulness, and has a true sense of community. Before living here I was never exposed to axioms, like that of non-attachment. It sounds like such a great life principle in theory, but I never dreamed of having to be forced to appreciate it...because let’s face it, I love Anthropologie.
Yet, coming to terms with this life lesson can and will forever change your life, as it has mine in such a short period of time. That’s not discrediting the fact that along the way we won’t have ebbing and flowing moments of loss (no pun intended), but once you free your mind, your physical space, and mental life of material things, the world around you starts to fill with possibility: the possibility of spending more time fully experiencing the beauty that surrounds us, the possibility of spending more quality time with the people we care about most (and maybe even people we don’t care so much about, but will grow to), the possibility of being less selfish and more community-centered, and the possibility of living a life free of desires that aren’t related to our emotional, physical, or spiritual growth.
It’s probably safe to assume that collectively, at some point we have all been guilty of spending too much energy and focus on material things, being possessive in relationships, or allowing ourselves to dwell on negative thoughts and worries. But, if this disaster is going to teach us just one thing, it’s that we need to let go. Because, in that moment of letting go, we become more free.
“Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering.” -The Dalai Lama
Please let me be completely honest here, until the other day I was certainly preoccupied with presenting both myself and my space in a way that I previously thought was therapeutic and zen-like, but in reality was still spending way too many waking hours thinking about objects. Not to mention that until the flood came rushing down the canyon I didn’t even know my neighbors.
So, yes, while this is not the way we were planning on learning how to let the superfluous objects in our lives go, this has truly been a gift, and it can be for all of us if we’re willing to breath through and let go of the grief so that we can collectively look up and see the rainbow...or double rainbow if we’re lucky.
In the spirit of being selfless, let’s all join together to help rebuild lives and communities outside of our immediate scope of vision in whatever way we can. Donating is one simple way, and you can use the link below to do so, but there are many ways to help out, so I encourage everyone to be as active and creative as possible, and you might just be surprised to see what happens.
http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/love-for-lyons-rebuilding-a-devastated-colorado-mountain-town
-Lauren G. (Assistant Spa Director - The Dragontree Boulder)
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When a patient comes in to see me, I get a brief opportunity to facilitate a shift toward the positive. I might overhaul their diet, give them exercises, insert acupuncture needles, or prescribe some medicine. It’s clear that these interventions help. But when I look back at the treatments that were major turning points for people, about half the time what made the difference was something I said.
Most of what I say is pretty simple stuff. The more simple, the bigger the potential impact. All the essential truths of the great spiritual traditions are simple. But they’re underappreciated and easily forgotten. There’s so much other stuff vying for priority real estate in our minds. And in a time when we put so much value on complexity – science, for instance – simple concepts don’t get taken seriously. Someone once said, The truth is simple. If it were complicated, everyone would get it.
The nice part about profound truths being simple is that you don’t have to work so hard. Stop trying to have all the answers; just listen and remember what you already know. The simple truth I want to share with you today is one you are undoubtedly familiar with: positive thinking makes good things happen. If someone said to you, “I have the solution to most of your problems: think positive,” you might say, “I have the solution to why nobody likes you: unsolicited, crappy advice.” But I urge you to reconsider.
If you consistently had positive thoughts about your life, do you know what would happen? You would feel consistently positive about your life. And that pretty much constitutes a good life, doesn’t it? Regardless of whether or not your life is exactly the way you want it to be, if you cultivate positive thoughts, your consciousness – your experience of life – will be more positive. Isn’t that what really matters? Your perspective is more important than your circumstances. Wouldn’t you rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable? If you’re happy, you’re happy.
But it’s not just a mind trick where you fool yourself into being thrilled by a pathetic life. As you make a habit of forging positive thoughts, you become a more positive person, and then the objective circumstances of your life change. Have you ever met someone who was really successful and also super positive? Which do you think came first? I would venture to guess it was the positive part.
The tricky aspect – or so it seems to a mind that loves complication– is actually remembering to think positively. Many people feel it’s not their innate nature to be positive, or that life circumstances have made it difficult to be an optimist. But they have just made a habit of focusing on and emphasizing negative viewpoints. It’s true that the glass is both half empty and half full. Both perspectives are valid, but they are not equally meaningful observations. The optimist focuses on what is and the pessimist on what isn’t.
Like the song goes, accentuate the positive. Here’s how:
- Look and listen for good signs, positive news, beauty, and fascinating things, and then latch onto them, talk about them, share them, savor them, amplify them, run with them. Imagine you just tapped into a vein of gold in the earth, and now you want to follow that vein. Jump from one good thing to the next. Make a game out of it.
- Create more positivity in the world. This is especially important if you find it hard to arouse your own optimism. Instigate positivity in people around you, even if you feel dark inside. Create the vein of gold that you can then follow, by asking people about their lives, their kids, their dreams. You will ignite a light in someone else that will lead you in the right direction. Then keep doing it. Deliver genuine compliments. Help others to see the positive side of whatever they’re grappling with. It’s often easier to do for others than for yourself.
- Get out of the dirt. Following the gold vein is as much a matter of not choosing to veer into the dirt as it is a choice to follow the gold. Catch yourself choosing to indulge in negativity and be disciplined about shifting your attention to something else. It’s like breaking an addiction. Notice which of your acquaintances have a “this sucks” mentality and (a) hang out with them less (b) laugh internally at everything negative they say – lightly, not disparagingly (c) don’t let them throw you off your gold vein. Also, stop watching Breaking Bad. Choose your media consumption consciously.
- Tweet/post/comment responsibly. The stories and opinions you choose to share shape who you are in the world – plus who and what you attract. Are you a positive influence on your environment or a negative one? Before you click “Post,” look at what you’ve written. If it’s snarky or amounts to “Doesn’t this suck?” just delete it. You won’t feel any regret.
- Respond with humor to situations that would otherwise make you angry, irritated, or anxious. I know it’s hard, but if your habit is to relinquish the whole gold vein just because of some stupid situation, you simply cannot engage with it in an adversarial way. Be imperturbable. Go on a drama fast. Stay committed to your positivity.
- Lose the belief that finding problems and errors makes you smart or likeable. People who enjoy finding what’s wrong with everything rarely care as much about looking for solutions.
- Know what you want. Most of us spend so much time thinking about our current problems and the undesired future situations we hope to avoid that we have a clearer sense of what we don’t want than what we do want. Know with laser-like precision what kind of life you want and replace the habit of dwelling on what you don’t want with savoring the anticipation of getting what you do want.
Once you’re in the zone, let’s go have some tea together. Positive people are fun to be around. I wonder what cool thing you’ll do next.
Be well,
Peter
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