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[post_content] =>
I saw a woman being interviewed about her opinion of Trump and Obama. She felt quite strongly that one was the devil and the other a saint. The interviewer asked why and she gave some simple reasons. Then the interviewer proposed, “What if I showed you evidence that would disprove your reasons?”
She responded, “Nothing you can say will change my mind. I don’t need any evidence to know what’s true.” Have you ever felt this way about a person or issue?
It’s very enticing to think in black and white terms. We like the unambiguousness of it. It’s comfortable and easy to be able to say with conviction, “This man is good, that man is bad,” or “Chemical pesticides are wrong, natural ones are right,” or “Pain is bad, pleasure is good.”
When we choose a fixed stance, it seems our work is over. There’s no need to sort through the facts. There’s no need to navigate the discomfort of possibly being wrong, or the discomfort of allowing for multiple points of view. There’s no need to stretch. The only work left to do is convince others who don’t share our point of view that they’re wrong.
Every fixed point of view bolsters the ego. Each time we marry our identity to a position, we form a more rigid sense of who we are (and aren’t). Even though there’s a certain kind of peace in choosing a fixed stance, there’s also an innate conflict. We feel compelled to block out or reject any experience or information that doesn’t fit with our position. This fragments us, restricts our freedom, and prevents an authentic, unmanipulated experience of life.
I’m as attracted to polarized positions as the next guy, but I’ve seen too many times that they’re not good for me – or my relationships. Besides the various forms of personal suffering that black-and-white thinking causes, it’s a major impediment to creating community, solving big problems, and fixing the social divisions that make our country so disunited.
For those interested in recovering from this habit, a willingness to be wrong is a good start – yet, it’s often a difficult concession for us because there’s some truth to our position. It’s usually less painful – and closer to the truth – to recognize that we’re not wrong, we’re just not entirely right. That is, we’re focused on a thin sliver of reality and mistake that to be the whole.
It’s like the old parable about the blind men feeling the different parts of an elephant and describing what kind of animal it is. One feels the elephant’s trunk and says, “This animal is like a thick snake.” Another, who is touching the elephant’s ear, disagrees: “No, it’s more like a fan.” One touches its leg and says an elephant must be like the trunk of a tree. Another touches the tail and says elephants are like a piece of rope.
When we practice openness and humility, we discover a greater need for the word and. Is the truth this way or that way? The answer is almost always YES. This way and that way. Both.
This practice asks us to stretch in order to make room for a reality that’s broader than we thought – and stretching can be uncomfortable – but it also brings peace through the recognition that we don’t know everything, we can’t know everything, and therefore we can let ourselves off the hook of needing to know everything.
I’d like to explore polarized positions on two subjects that are near and dear to my heart – managing the wayward mind and managing pain.
When it comes to managing the mind, the most common polarized positions I encounter are: (1) We should exert discipline over the mind, learn to control it, more intentionally choose the contents of our thoughts, perhaps even stop its meanderings entirely. (2) The mind is an incessant stream of chattering that doesn’t need to be controlled or judged; freedom comes from witnessing it impartially, noticing how it works, learning not to automatically give our attention to its content (thoughts), and ultimately transcending it.
Which is right? In my opinion this is a perfect time for the word and. It doesn’t need to be one or the other. Both are valid and true. It is possible to stop thinking. We can make the mind more peaceful, we can think more optimistic thoughts. AND without attempting to modify the way we think, we can learn to witness the mind, to be unmoved by violent or fearful thoughts, and to let awareness itself begin to displace the ego as the driver of this life.
When it comes to managing pain, two opposing positions I encounter are: (1) Get rid of it. Pain sucks and rarely has a useful purpose. (2) Pain is an opportunity – to expand, to be empowered, to know ourselves, to heal old wounds, etc. If we get rid of it without exploring it, we may miss an important chance to grow and heal.
Which is right? What should we do? AND to the rescue! When I began constructing my online course, Live Pain Free, I started by making a long list of all the strategies I could think of for eliminating pain. Then I thought of the people I’ve known who weren’t able to get rid of their pain – because, for instance, it was due to an inoperable tumor pressing on a nerve – but were able to achieve freedom despite the constant presence of pain. I thought of patients who have used their pain as an impetus for unraveling trauma and years of unhealthy patterning. And I also thought of patients in pain who were angry, depressed, or fearful, who became lighthearted and joyful as soon as we stopped the pain. In the end, I chose to dedicate a significant portion of the course to viewpoint #2 above – that is, helping people to heal and feel free regardless of whether or not pain is present.
The same goes for managing painful thoughts and emotions. When Briana and I were writing Freedom, a workbook to help people move through these thoughts and feelings more smoothly, we asked ourselves do we want people to simply release them and get on with their day or do we want to help them understand the deeper roots of these thoughts and feelings so they can know themselves and heal more deeply? I’ve heard cognitive behavioral therapists make a strong case for the former, saying, “You simply need to learn to modify your thoughts – and your relationship to them – as they come up. We don’t need to talk about your childhood.” A Freudian psychoanalyst would probably say the opposite.
For us, the answer again was both. Sometimes – especially if we’re currently scheduled to be doing something other than self-maintenance – there isn’t time or space to do the deeper processing, and we just need a quick and efficient way to release infringing thoughts and emotions. But it’s also worth making the time to delve into the bigger, more fundamental work, because if we can heal our deepest wounds we’re likely to have a great reduction in disturbing thoughts and the need to manage them.
In what ways do you tend to think in black-and-white terms?
Where has your thinking been polarized?
How has your identity been shaped by your positions?
How do you feel when you have a fixed position about something or someone? Can you perceive both the appealing feeling of “rightness” (or even self-righteousness) and the edgy feeling that comes from an inability to allow for opposing viewpoints?
What comes up when you consider opening yourself to opposing points of view? Can you feel the stretch of it? Can you also feel the relief that would come from relinquishing the need to have the answers or to be right?
Wishing you peace, perspective, and lots of ANDs,
Peter
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[post_content] => A couple weeks ago, I wrote an article introducing the Indian concept of
chakras and explained them from a variety of different perspectives. The prevailing classical perspective is that they are distinct centers of the subtle anatomy of the human body, affecting our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual lives (though, some would say, only in spiritual aspirants who have awakened them).
The prevailing modern perspective is that the locations of the chakras correspond with major neurological centers, and whether or not they also exist as the subtle lotuses or wheels described in ancient scriptures, they function as important stations of mind-body connection, plus they represent a useful system for understanding psycho-spiritual health and evolution.
I want to be reverent of the origins of chakra philosophy (which has often been co-opted in the West without regard for accuracy), however, I believe that some insightful Westerners have contributed to this science in a significant way. If I continue to try to address every perspective while also attempting to avoid ruffling any feathers, I think these articles won't be any fun to read, so I'm going to be a bit looser about mixing the old and the new. If you have questions, feel free to ask in the comments section at the end of the article.
Now, let’s dive into the First Chakra, called Muladhara, which is located in the region of the perineum (halfway between the genitals and anus) and or just in front of the tip of the tailbone (coccyx). In the last article I said this is arguably the most important chakra for the average human, and that’s because it relates to survival. When your survival is threatened, you might reflexively tighten up here, or even lose all control of your eliminatory functions. Your health at this state of being can be experienced as a
fundamental sense of trust about getting your basic needs met, and a feeling of safety, security, and stability.
Muladhara is also known as the
root chakra because it relates to the Earth Element and our sense of groundedness. It’s also the chakra most closely associated with the physical body, the physical world, and our relationship with worldly things and material possessions. It governs the legs and feet – which connect us to the earth – as well as the long, thick sciatic nerves, which, like roots of the nervous system, run from the sacrum all the way down the legs to the feet.
Balance at this state of being can be difficult for modern humans because we are generally more immersed in our thoughts, more surrounded by material goods, less present in our bodies, less on our feet, and less connected to the earth and the natural world than ever before in the history of our species. Meanwhile, although actual crises of survival are much less common than in the past for most people in the developed world, we have learned to fabricate “life or death” feelings about all sorts of everyday occurrences, which taxes the foundation this chakra provides.
It is sometimes said that there’s no reason to work on our upper chakras before the lower ones are in order, and this is especially true of the First Chakra. If, for example, you haven’t sorted out your basic needs; if you look to possessions to provide happiness and belonging; if you haven't yet owned what Anodea Judith calls your “right to be here,” then you’re bound to be undermined in the pursuit of higher personal and spiritual development.
According to Caroline Myss, this is the chakra of “tribal power.” She says it relates to group identity, power, and beliefs. Our sense of belonging to our community “grounds” us in a manner similar to the earth and the security of home. We deeply associate
belonging with survival itself, since our life begins with total dependence on our tribe to supply our basic needs. (They may also supply our deepest fears, limitations, and wounds.) In addition, our tribe teaches us core moral virtues – loyalty, honor, and justice – although, depending on our interpretation, our relationship with these concepts may be harmful rather than fortifying. Myss advises making peace with our culture because resentment toward it (regardless of whether it’s warranted) can impair our power by blocking our awareness of the sacred truth that All is One.
Imbalance at the Muladhara level of being can manifest in a variety of ways, often marked by insecurity and instability. Some examples are given below. (It should be noted, however, that while First Chakra imbalances can manifest in these ways, these symptoms could also result from imbalances of other chakras or from issues unrelated to the chakra system.)
- Anxiety, panic, depression, living in “survival mode,” fear in general, and specifically fear of abandonment, fear of running out of resources, fear of loss of physical order
- Difficulty standing up for oneself
- No sense of home; not knowing where you’ll sleep tonight or where your next meal will come from
- Difficulty making money and/or holding onto it
- Clinging to material possessions
- Self-centeredness
- Inability to perceive one’s self-worth
- Feeling undeserving of having things, of having enough; “poverty consciousness”
- Rectal disorders, sciatica, varicose veins, immune disorders, problems with the bones, legs and feet
Establishing balance in the First Chakra often entails hard work; frequently, it’s the work of an entire lifetime. It’s hard work mostly because it’s
deep work. It requires a willingness to go as deep as possible into one’s belief system and one’s oldest memories, and to challenge, reframe, and heal what you find there. The following strategies may provide additional support:
- Spend time in nature, preferably with your bare feet on the ground.
- Get connected to your self-worth. Hint: it’s the same worth as everyone else, and it isn’t affected by your looks, your deeds, or your abilities. Believe that you deserve to have your needs met and you have a right to be here.
- Exercise, eat well, and in general, take good care of your body.
- Eat some protein. As the most dense and slow-to-digest component of our diet, it is good for helping to ground us (although excessive amounts can dull our consciousness).
- Retrain your survival mechanisms. Ask yourself, when your adrenaline is flowing, if this is a genuine “fight or flight” situation. Breathe deeply, imagining the breath goes all the way down to the bottom of your pelvic bowl, and anchor yourself. Meanwhile, avoid getting emotionally charged unnecessarily – cut out the horror movies, for instance – and remember that you can be present and fully participating for your boss, your friends, and your family even without taking on their drama.
- Don’t let your mind monopolize your attention. Keep some of your awareness in your body, feeling what comes up throughout the day.
- Establish financial stability. When money comes to you, accept it without guilt. Really receive it with total willingness. If necessary, modify your image of yourself such that you can comfortably see yourself as a person who has enough.
- A wide array of exercises and yoga poses are prescribed for strengthening or balancing Muladhara. Two of my favorites are squatting and mula bandha – “root lock” – one of the locks or bandhas of yoga. You can look up articles on mula bandha - it’s similar to doing Kegel exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor, but a little more subtle.
Often, First Chakra work seems never to be finished. Most of us are “householders” – we live in the physical world, we have piles of stuff, and it’s an incredible challenge to be at peace in the midst of it all. Meanwhile, our animalistic survival instincts, including pleasure seeking and pain avoidance, are wired into our nervous system. It takes real devotion to personal growth to override these instincts and take our own driver’s seat, but I believe it's the work we're all here to do and we all have the ability to succeed at it.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
Sources:
- Johari, H. (1987). Energy Centers of Transformation. Destiny Books.
- Judith, A. (2004). Eastern Body, Western Mind: Psychology and the Chakra System as a Path to the Self. Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts.
- Judith, A. (1999). Wheels of Life: The Classic Guide to the Chakra System. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications.
- Khalsa, G. K. (1991). Energy Maps: A Journey Through the Chakras. La Crescenta, CA: CyberScribe.
- Myss, C. M. (1996). Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing. New York: Three Rivers Press.
- Svoboda, R. E. (1995). Aghora II: Kundalini. Albuquerque, NM: Brotherhood of Life Publishing.
- White, J. W. (1990). Kundalini, Evolution, and Enlightenment. New York: Paragon House.
- Woodroffe, J. G., & P. (1931). The Serpent Power: Being the Shat-chakra-nirūpana and Pādukā-panchaka; Two Works on Laya yoga. Madras: Ganesh.
[post_title] => Getting to the Root of the Matter: Understanding Your Foundation in Your Root Chakra.
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[post_date] => 2018-01-09 20:47:32
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My friend called me this morning begging to be rescued from herself. She said “I knew I had a ton of things to catch up on today and projects I want to work on that will move me towards my goals, yet I stayed up late last night, slept in, walked in multiple circles trying to figure out where to start, then after feeling overwhelmed and discouraged I turned on Netflix and binge watched 2 seasons of Friends. What is wrong with me? I am wasting my youth and my life, I’m never going to amount to anything! Why do I do this?”
Her shame and self-blame were on a downward spiral fast and she needed someone to snap her out of it.
Self-sabotage happens when part of our ego wants to stop us from going beyond our ego constructs. Our egos are strong, they’re here to try to keep us safe, which usually means keeping us small, in this little container where we protect ourselves. Within these boundaries, we limit ourselves because we’re only willing to experience what’s familiar. So we procrastinate, we create obstacles, we stir up drama to get in our own way.
Then something arises within us, a desire to connect, to expand, deepen. As that happens our ego comes in and tries to obscure it because it doesn’t feel safe, it’s the great unknown for the ego because it isn’t where the ego lives, that’s when self-sabotage rears it’s ugly head.
First become aware of where you’re self-sabotaging and bring a huge amount of curiosity to the underlying reasons and impulses causing it. Many people haven’t been introduced to this practice of deep inquiry, so they only scan the surface layers of it. Even if they notice that they are self-sabotaging they may only recognize it’s not serving them but don’t examine the deeper “why was I doing that, where did it come from, isn’t that interesting?” Where else in your life do you have this experience? Where do you feel that in your body? What does it look like when you sabotage yourself? How does it feel when are you doing it? When does it come up? When does it not come up? How has it felt when you didn’t do it?
What advice did I give to my friend? “Love yourself anyway. There’s no benefit to feeling bad about it, but be honest about what is really going on. Dig into why are you not doing what you say you want to do. Do you actually not want to do those things? What do you really want to be devoted to? What action can you take towards that today, right now?”
Keep asking the whys, hows, and whats so you can start shining a light on this ego structure that is trying to keep you in your small self. The keys to ending the cycles of self-sabotage are meditation and being curious about your feelings. Curiosity without judgment is crucial. If you’re judging while being curious you’re not really being curious, you’re examining the right and wrong of something versus opening up to deeper understanding. Honor that voice arising from within you that is leading you to heal old destructive patterns by listening.
Really slow down and listen… listen… listen… listen...listen.
If you're having a hard time uncovering the whys or being able to hear that loving voice inside you, I'd love to help. Join our Love Rising community as we gather in a group to get in touch with our true selves, in touch with our essence. As a group, we’ll amplify this connection and get clear on the next step forward, along the way resolving obstacles and challenges blocking our ability to receive. To trust.
With so much love for you,
Briana
PS - The next
Love Rising Collective begins January 11th. Don't wait, or you'll miss it.
[post_title] => Letting Go of Self Sabotage
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I saw a woman being interviewed about her opinion of Trump and Obama. She felt quite strongly that one was the devil and the other a saint. The interviewer asked why and she gave some simple reasons. Then the interviewer proposed, “What if I showed you evidence that would disprove your reasons?”
She responded, “Nothing you can say will change my mind. I don’t need any evidence to know what’s true.” Have you ever felt this way about a person or issue?
It’s very enticing to think in black and white terms. We like the unambiguousness of it. It’s comfortable and easy to be able to say with conviction, “This man is good, that man is bad,” or “Chemical pesticides are wrong, natural ones are right,” or “Pain is bad, pleasure is good.”
When we choose a fixed stance, it seems our work is over. There’s no need to sort through the facts. There’s no need to navigate the discomfort of possibly being wrong, or the discomfort of allowing for multiple points of view. There’s no need to stretch. The only work left to do is convince others who don’t share our point of view that they’re wrong.
Every fixed point of view bolsters the ego. Each time we marry our identity to a position, we form a more rigid sense of who we are (and aren’t). Even though there’s a certain kind of peace in choosing a fixed stance, there’s also an innate conflict. We feel compelled to block out or reject any experience or information that doesn’t fit with our position. This fragments us, restricts our freedom, and prevents an authentic, unmanipulated experience of life.
I’m as attracted to polarized positions as the next guy, but I’ve seen too many times that they’re not good for me – or my relationships. Besides the various forms of personal suffering that black-and-white thinking causes, it’s a major impediment to creating community, solving big problems, and fixing the social divisions that make our country so disunited.
For those interested in recovering from this habit, a willingness to be wrong is a good start – yet, it’s often a difficult concession for us because there’s some truth to our position. It’s usually less painful – and closer to the truth – to recognize that we’re not wrong, we’re just not entirely right. That is, we’re focused on a thin sliver of reality and mistake that to be the whole.
It’s like the old parable about the blind men feeling the different parts of an elephant and describing what kind of animal it is. One feels the elephant’s trunk and says, “This animal is like a thick snake.” Another, who is touching the elephant’s ear, disagrees: “No, it’s more like a fan.” One touches its leg and says an elephant must be like the trunk of a tree. Another touches the tail and says elephants are like a piece of rope.
When we practice openness and humility, we discover a greater need for the word and. Is the truth this way or that way? The answer is almost always YES. This way and that way. Both.
This practice asks us to stretch in order to make room for a reality that’s broader than we thought – and stretching can be uncomfortable – but it also brings peace through the recognition that we don’t know everything, we can’t know everything, and therefore we can let ourselves off the hook of needing to know everything.
I’d like to explore polarized positions on two subjects that are near and dear to my heart – managing the wayward mind and managing pain.
When it comes to managing the mind, the most common polarized positions I encounter are: (1) We should exert discipline over the mind, learn to control it, more intentionally choose the contents of our thoughts, perhaps even stop its meanderings entirely. (2) The mind is an incessant stream of chattering that doesn’t need to be controlled or judged; freedom comes from witnessing it impartially, noticing how it works, learning not to automatically give our attention to its content (thoughts), and ultimately transcending it.
Which is right? In my opinion this is a perfect time for the word and. It doesn’t need to be one or the other. Both are valid and true. It is possible to stop thinking. We can make the mind more peaceful, we can think more optimistic thoughts. AND without attempting to modify the way we think, we can learn to witness the mind, to be unmoved by violent or fearful thoughts, and to let awareness itself begin to displace the ego as the driver of this life.
When it comes to managing pain, two opposing positions I encounter are: (1) Get rid of it. Pain sucks and rarely has a useful purpose. (2) Pain is an opportunity – to expand, to be empowered, to know ourselves, to heal old wounds, etc. If we get rid of it without exploring it, we may miss an important chance to grow and heal.
Which is right? What should we do? AND to the rescue! When I began constructing my online course, Live Pain Free, I started by making a long list of all the strategies I could think of for eliminating pain. Then I thought of the people I’ve known who weren’t able to get rid of their pain – because, for instance, it was due to an inoperable tumor pressing on a nerve – but were able to achieve freedom despite the constant presence of pain. I thought of patients who have used their pain as an impetus for unraveling trauma and years of unhealthy patterning. And I also thought of patients in pain who were angry, depressed, or fearful, who became lighthearted and joyful as soon as we stopped the pain. In the end, I chose to dedicate a significant portion of the course to viewpoint #2 above – that is, helping people to heal and feel free regardless of whether or not pain is present.
The same goes for managing painful thoughts and emotions. When Briana and I were writing Freedom, a workbook to help people move through these thoughts and feelings more smoothly, we asked ourselves do we want people to simply release them and get on with their day or do we want to help them understand the deeper roots of these thoughts and feelings so they can know themselves and heal more deeply? I’ve heard cognitive behavioral therapists make a strong case for the former, saying, “You simply need to learn to modify your thoughts – and your relationship to them – as they come up. We don’t need to talk about your childhood.” A Freudian psychoanalyst would probably say the opposite.
For us, the answer again was both. Sometimes – especially if we’re currently scheduled to be doing something other than self-maintenance – there isn’t time or space to do the deeper processing, and we just need a quick and efficient way to release infringing thoughts and emotions. But it’s also worth making the time to delve into the bigger, more fundamental work, because if we can heal our deepest wounds we’re likely to have a great reduction in disturbing thoughts and the need to manage them.
In what ways do you tend to think in black-and-white terms?
Where has your thinking been polarized?
How has your identity been shaped by your positions?
How do you feel when you have a fixed position about something or someone? Can you perceive both the appealing feeling of “rightness” (or even self-righteousness) and the edgy feeling that comes from an inability to allow for opposing viewpoints?
What comes up when you consider opening yourself to opposing points of view? Can you feel the stretch of it? Can you also feel the relief that would come from relinquishing the need to have the answers or to be right?
Wishing you peace, perspective, and lots of ANDs,
Peter
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