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June 22nd is my wife Briana’s birthday. She’s the Dragontree’s founder and fearless leader.
On the way to art school at age 18, she was in a car accident and broke her neck. It changed the course of her life. She never made it to art school, instead spending the following six months in a brace at home in Montana. During her rehabilitation period she received massage and this kindled an interest in the healing arts.
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I helped with the planning and painting, but she has always been the engine and visionary. I’ve watched her grow tremendously in the 20 years that we’ve been together. Besides her business acumen, she has an incredible knack for making spaces beautiful. She’s an amazing mother and wife. She is generous and kind and funny. She’s a pretty good guitar player, too.
The funny thing is, for probably the first 15 years we were together she had these moments of insecurity when she would ask me with despair in her voice, “What am I doing with my life?!” It was as if she saw herself as floundering and aimless.
It’s interesting how outsiders sometimes see our gifts more clearly than we do. In this case, my response came so easily. “Well,” I would say, “you have built spas where thousands of people have come to feel better. You’ve created programs and courses to educate, uplift, and support people’s healing. You’ve written books. You’ve provided jobs for probably a thousand people over the years. You’re a mother and wife. You beautify the world. You’re a great friend. You’re always trying to be your best self. You’re good at Boggle – though not as good as me. I think that’s a pretty good start.”
I’m not sure if what I said was helpful in a lasting way. But over time, and especially as she began to do more spiritual and coaching work, there was an ever-growing group of people who said to her, “You changed my life for the better.” And I think it started to sink in. She doesn’t ask me what she’s doing with her life anymore.
From all of us whose lives have been made better by our association with you, Briana Borten, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We love you.
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This Wednesday is the winter solstice, the day when the northern hemisphere is at its maximum tilt away from the sun, giving us the shortest day of the year. As you know, even though this is technically just the first day of winter, the days start getting longer again on Thursday.
In our family, it’s a day for making peace with the darkness and remembering that the light is always here, even when we can’t see it. Before bed, Briana and I hide dozens of electric tea lights throughout the house and it’s the kids’ job to find them all.
I have some winter solstice questions for you.
What are some expressions of light in dark times? There are people like Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi who stand for freedom in the midst of oppression. There is the light of human innovation and the love of our planet in the midst of the climate crisis. There are songs of hope that arise from the hearts of the enslaved. Can you think of some other examples, both in the world at large and your own life?
What is the source of this light? Where does it come from? Rather than searching for the answer with your analytical mind, I encourage you to look inside, quiet the mind, and simply ask into the space: “What are you, Light? Where do you come from?” What do you see, hear, or feel in response?
If you have friends or family members who like to share and “go deep,” try bringing up these questions in a group setting.
It’s my belief that we are all carriers of the One Light that unifies us all. Every one of us has the power to illuminate our perspective and to shine it into the world. Every one of us has the potential to be a beacon in our community. The biggest impediment is simply forgetting. Sometimes we know the Light is within us and ours to call upon, but we get wrapped up in busyness. Other times we buy into disempowering stories about life that make us feel the Light is gone, or it’s outside us somewhere. Remember.
Here's a solar meditation I encourage you to try from Damien Echols, author of High Magick:
- Sit in the daylight.
- Inhale for a count of four while imagining that you’re drawing the sun’s light into your body through your skin.
- Hold your breath for a count of four while you imagine this light is seeping into all your tissues, penetrating every cell.
- Exhale for a count of four while imagining that you’re powerfully projecting the light out of every pore, shining it out into the world.
- Hold your breath for a count of four while imagining that you’re immersed in and basking in the field of light you just projected outward.
- Repeat.
We really are rather like those creepy bottom-dwelling fish with a lantern thingy sticking out from their foreheads. We generate the light and then that very light illuminates the path ahead for us. Try it.
Happy holidays from all of us at The Dragontree.
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When we read about historical figures or people in the news, it’s easy to get the message that it’s big things that make a life exceptional, that the individuals who climb Mount Everest, develop a vaccine, or save a species from the brink of extinction are defining greatness for us all. If that’s what you feel called to do, I don’t want to lower the bar for you. I love massive achievements that benefit the common welfare!
But I also want to put in a good word for the consistent accomplishment of small things. Over a lifetime, this, too, can amount to something exceptional.
I’ve treated a number of patients with huge accomplishments under their belts – founders and CEOs of giant companies, inventors, professional athletes, artists, musicians, and authors. Clearly, they derived satisfaction from those big successes, but the day-to-day ingredients of happiness are the same for them as for anyone else. And, in general, I wouldn’t say they were happier or more satisfied with their lives than most people.
These ingredients are things like: connection with people, animals, nature, and Spirit; savoring food, music, and beauty; serving others and contributing to one’s community; completing meaningful tasks; learning and bettering oneself; and being present with the here and now so that we feel the magic of it. These “small things” aren’t highly visible, but they amount to so much.
This is one of the main reasons Briana and I started to create our own planner about a decade ago. We had always relied on planners, but found that traditional planners caused us to focus mainly on appointments and tasks. That’s what they’re for, right?
Appointments and tasks are useful, of course, but if this is what we fill our planner with, our life map can easily become defined by the things we need to get done. We wanted to create something that would (1) encourage us to define and adhere to an overarching vision and plan for our life (so that we’d consciously relate to our appointments and tasks as contributing to that plan), and (2) help us to prioritize the vital ingredients mentioned above.
Thus, the Dreambook was born. Through tools like Habit Tracking, Rituals for Thriving, defining your gifts, values, and purpose, and getting crystal clear on the aspects of life that truly nourish you, you can start to move these elements to the forefront – rather than the “extra credit” status they may currently occupy.
We can’t all devote our lives to world-famous-level accomplishments, but it’s important to recognize that the big stuff is dependent on the little stuff. If everyone wanted to be Elon Musk, who would be left to teach our children or nurse the sick? But if we all align our tasks with a broader vision of mutual evolution and wellness while consistently dedicating ourselves to the “small” but virtuous ingredients mentioned above, this will change the world a whole lot faster.
Use the Dreambook to help contextualize your work and interests within the bigger picture of who you want to be and what kind of world you want to live in, and then use the book and the Dragontree online community to help you stay on track. We’re here for you!
Be well,
Peter
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June 22nd is my wife Briana’s birthday. She’s the Dragontree’s founder and fearless leader.
On the way to art school at age 18, she was in a car accident and broke her neck. It changed the course of her life. She never made it to art school, instead spending the following six months in a brace at home in Montana. During her rehabilitation period she received massage and this kindled an interest in the healing arts.
She decided to go to massage school in Portland, and later to California College of Ayurveda to learn the traditional medical system of India. When we met, she was a massage therapist at a little spa in Portland and also a professional belly dancer. Less than a year later, she was opening her own spa. She was just 23 then.
I helped with the planning and painting, but she has always been the engine and visionary. I’ve watched her grow tremendously in the 20 years that we’ve been together. Besides her business acumen, she has an incredible knack for making spaces beautiful. She’s an amazing mother and wife. She is generous and kind and funny. She’s a pretty good guitar player, too.
The funny thing is, for probably the first 15 years we were together she had these moments of insecurity when she would ask me with despair in her voice, “What am I doing with my life?!” It was as if she saw herself as floundering and aimless.
It’s interesting how outsiders sometimes see our gifts more clearly than we do. In this case, my response came so easily. “Well,” I would say, “you have built spas where thousands of people have come to feel better. You’ve created programs and courses to educate, uplift, and support people’s healing. You’ve written books. You’ve provided jobs for probably a thousand people over the years. You’re a mother and wife. You beautify the world. You’re a great friend. You’re always trying to be your best self. You’re good at Boggle – though not as good as me. I think that’s a pretty good start.”
I’m not sure if what I said was helpful in a lasting way. But over time, and especially as she began to do more spiritual and coaching work, there was an ever-growing group of people who said to her, “You changed my life for the better.” And I think it started to sink in. She doesn’t ask me what she’s doing with her life anymore.
From all of us whose lives have been made better by our association with you, Briana Borten, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We love you.
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