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When I was quite young, my family experienced a “health revolution.” As my mother learned more about holistic health and how to take care of her body naturally, she began to change the way our family ate. We had always been an active family, so it seemed that diet was the missing component for us.As I look back, I can see how huge of a gift my mother gave us. In the 80s and 90s, Handi Snacks’ “Crackers and Cheez” were all the lunchbox rage, and I had apples and pears instead. She also taught me the value of valuing myself and taking care of myself.
My mother is one of the hardest workers I know. My father became seriously ill, leaving mom to be the sole provider for our family. She brought home the bacon (figuratively), but also provided for her family emotionally as well. I still remember watching her deal with the stress of owning her own business, juggling sports practice and doctors appointments and being in awe that one woman could do so much. I also remember her making a point of taking the time to get her nails done. It seemed like such an insignificant thing to do, and I think that sometimes she felt guilty spending that time and money on herself, but she needed it. It was a small way to help her relax and feel good about herself.
After college, I started a career in interior design. I loved what I did and how it allowed me to utilize the creative part of my brain, but my heart wasn’t in it. After a short stint in Europe, I started over and began a new career in retail management. I loved helping people feel good about themselves and choose beautiful clothing, but I wasn't quite there yet.
Now, I feel so honored to be a part of The Dragontree where I get to help facilitate healing, rest, and renewed energy for others in my community of Boulder. I enable others to feel good about their bodies, relax, and love themselves and others more. It is surreal sometimes that I get paid to do this. I am so thankful for the journey that has lead me here. I am grateful to have a mother who taught me the foundation of healthy living and how to take care of myself. I am thankful to have worked with so many creative colleagues (and clients!) and impact their lives in a positive way. I can see how there were so many different events that happened in my life to prepare me for the role I play today.
I am so excited to help make Boulder a more peaceful place through The Dragontree Spa. I could not be more blessed to work with such an amazing, talented, caring staff and am ecstatic to see what the future holds!
Editors note: The Boulder Weekly is doing Best of Boulder! We would so appreciate it if you could take the time to
vote for The Dragontree for best: massage, acupuncture, skin care, day spa and bath and body shop. Thank you! thank you! Thank you!
Vote here:
http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/1514815/Best-of-Boulder-Survey-2014
[post_title] => Meet Charity, our Boulder Spa Director
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[post_date] => 2016-10-25 20:33:47
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I bet that if I said, “Let’s start the process of dealing with your psychological baggage,” most people would tense up a bit and expect that they’re in for a “heavy” experience. It’s funny, because if we’re carrying around this baggage all the time, it already represents a certain “weight” that we’ve gotten used to, and the “dealing with it” part should amount to feeling lighter and freer.
While writing our book, The Well Life, we felt it simply wasn’t possible to guide people to the wellest of lives without encouraging them to resolve and/or release the stuff from the past that may be undermining their best efforts to be healthy and successful today. But we anticipated that some readers might react to this agenda about as well as if we offered to give them an amateur root canal.
I don’t have enough space in an article to explain our whole methodology – not to mention the approaches we use before and after to prepare for and stabilize this work. But I’d like to share an except on how we introduce this process, which I hope will help you feel ready to liberate yourself:
“Now, before you think, “Oh boy, this is going to be heavy,” we want to tell you that this doesn’t have to be a heavy experience. In fact, it’s an opportunity to feel lighter. It’s just that, between the heaviness and the lightness, there’s often something that one of our former teachers calls a “veil of discomfort.” The discomfort is only a veil because it’s really quite insubstantial. As soon as we become willing to experience it, we readily pass through it. And on the other side is lightness and opportunity!
Let’s talk about how these loose ends from your past can undermine you. One thing that may happen when you prepare to go for something big (whether it be a new relationship, a career change, or a cross-country move) is that your mind quickly runs through all your baggage—unresolved issues, past traumas, mistakes, losses—and tells you this is a bad idea.
Rather than hating your mind for this, it’s important to remember that you programmed this mind. You started out as a baby with a clean mental slate, and little by little you trained your mind to look out for things that might threaten your survival or happiness. That’s how your mind is built to work. It just happens that most minds are overly eager to do this job (especially if it means that your mind gets to monopolize your attention).
The more intense the bad experiences of your past, the deeper the groove they cut in your mental record. The mind looks for anything in your present that even remotely resembles these past experiences so that it can steer you clear from repeating them. It produces warning thoughts and initiates intense emotions to grab your attention.
So what can you do? Thank your mind for its efforts to protect you, but inform it that it’s working from outdated beliefs and overly generalized data. There’s no purpose in blaming yourself for how your mind functions. You’ve done your best with the resources that were available to you in each moment. But if you want the freedom to show up to each moment without being restrained by your past, it’s imperative to recognize that your baggage impedes this. Limiting beliefs and the echoes of past emotions are an intrusion on your space and the peace that lies within.
The key to identifying past incidents that get priority cleanup status is that when you bring them to mind and then check in with your body, you don’t feel altogether light and clean. Instead, you might feel heavy, tight, agitated, or constricted. Or a negative emotion might come up, such as guilt, fear, shame, anger, regret, sadness, or grief.
It’s possible that something you did that was objectively bad, like stealing the Statue of Liberty and burying it in your backyard, doesn’t actually provoke an especially strong physical or emotional response when you focus on it. In such cases, it’s important to remember that the objective “sin rating” of an event is less significant than how much of a hook it has in you. On the other hand, you might have accidentally thrown away your child’s first finger-painting and experience a tremendous feeling of guilt when you think about it—this would be something worth addressing.
Think of this process like cleaning your living space. When your house is filthy, there are piles of documents, dishes, laundry, and areas needing repair. It can feel so daunting you don’t know where to begin. You don’t even want to begin. But once you start, and then you have one room that’s clutter-free, it feels more manageable. Eventually, the whole house is pretty well in order, and then it’s fairly easy to stay on top of it. In the same way, as you clean up your life, you’ll find it both easier and more appealing to continue to clean, and to nip any new messes in the bud so they don’t impede your future.”
If this sounds good to you, I encourage you to let go of something right now. If you feel into your body, are you totally at ease? If not, is the unease associated with something that’s unresolved? Something you want to be different? Something you’re holding onto? Why not let it go – even if just for this moment? First try feeling it without any resistance, welcoming the feeling completely. Then take a breath into the feeling and as you exhale, let it go.
If you’re intrigued by where we’re headed, check out our book.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => Losing Your Baggage
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I have a long history of not living up to my potential. I had some talent in music, art, and academics, but I spent years noodling around and not making anything of it. I started a lot of things I didn’t finish. This trend started to shift a bit when I was in grad school, mostly because I wanted to practice Chinese Medicine more than I had ever wanted any other achievement. Yet, even though I had the sense that I was still underutilizing my potential, my greatest career aspiration was to be an effective doctor with a very long beard. Then, I met a girl named Briana who wanted to open a spa, and although it sounded impressive, it also seemed like way too much responsibility for my taste . . . especially given my history.
As the years went by, and I watched this woman build the spa into a sizable wellness company, I was impressed by her drive, but I was even more impressed by how she was able to turn ideas into realities, and to do so without losing her balance. I began to see that I could help a lot more people if I utilized avenues beyond my clinical practice, so I gradually took a more active role in the company. But, unlike Briana, for me it felt complicated and crazy-making to have so much going on.
At some point – three spas and one baby later – I dug my heels in. I said something like, “I don’t want anything new or different in our lives for like a decade!” She said, “Show me your schedule and let me watch you work.”
Then Briana truly discovered just how cluttered my mind is and how bad I was at planning, but it was ultimately good for both of us. She had the challenge of figuring out how to teach a right-brained musician-philosopher-type how to efficiently set and achieve goals while remaining organized and balanced with many responsibilities. And I was the beneficiary.
We saw that lot of people weren’t pursuing their big dreams because they already felt maxed out by the everyday stuff (and, unlike me, they didn’t have a partner to push them). Meanwhile, I noticed that many of my patients’ had a similar challenge with implementing consistent self-care practices and making time for the things that made them happy, and I realized that this needed to be integrated into any sustainable framework for achievement. Together, we started to develop a system to help people prioritize the self-care and soul-nourishing parts of life, navigate their life tasks with ease, unleash their potential, and achieve their dreams.
The result was our
Rituals for Living Dreambook. We launched it with a successful Kickstarter campaign. It has sold phenomenally well, and we’ve heard so many amazing stories of transformed lives.
When we asked for readers’ feedback, many of them expressed that they wanted more instruction and accountability. So, we created an online course called
Dreaming and Planning: Create a Meaningful Life. Our aim is to walk people through nine weeks of integrating these concepts into their lives, including choosing a goal and making it a reality.
We aren’t able to do private coaching with everyone who’s interested in this material, and we’d have to charge more than many people could afford, so our aim was to make this course the closest thing to one-on-one guidance at a much more affordable price.
Join us, and bring your amazing gifts into the world!
Be Well,
Dr Peter Borten
PS - Act now to enjoy the best possible price on Dreaming+Planning: Create a Meaningful Life. After tonight, the price will increase permanently.
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When I was quite young, my family experienced a “health revolution.” As my mother learned more about holistic health and how to take care of her body naturally, she began to change the way our family ate. We had always been an active family, so it seemed that diet was the missing component for us.As I look back, I can see how huge of a gift my mother gave us. In the 80s and 90s, Handi Snacks’ “Crackers and Cheez” were all the lunchbox rage, and I had apples and pears instead. She also taught me the value of valuing myself and taking care of myself.
My mother is one of the hardest workers I know. My father became seriously ill, leaving mom to be the sole provider for our family. She brought home the bacon (figuratively), but also provided for her family emotionally as well. I still remember watching her deal with the stress of owning her own business, juggling sports practice and doctors appointments and being in awe that one woman could do so much. I also remember her making a point of taking the time to get her nails done. It seemed like such an insignificant thing to do, and I think that sometimes she felt guilty spending that time and money on herself, but she needed it. It was a small way to help her relax and feel good about herself.
After college, I started a career in interior design. I loved what I did and how it allowed me to utilize the creative part of my brain, but my heart wasn’t in it. After a short stint in Europe, I started over and began a new career in retail management. I loved helping people feel good about themselves and choose beautiful clothing, but I wasn't quite there yet.
Now, I feel so honored to be a part of The Dragontree where I get to help facilitate healing, rest, and renewed energy for others in my community of Boulder. I enable others to feel good about their bodies, relax, and love themselves and others more. It is surreal sometimes that I get paid to do this. I am so thankful for the journey that has lead me here. I am grateful to have a mother who taught me the foundation of healthy living and how to take care of myself. I am thankful to have worked with so many creative colleagues (and clients!) and impact their lives in a positive way. I can see how there were so many different events that happened in my life to prepare me for the role I play today.
I am so excited to help make Boulder a more peaceful place through The Dragontree Spa. I could not be more blessed to work with such an amazing, talented, caring staff and am ecstatic to see what the future holds!
Editors note: The Boulder Weekly is doing Best of Boulder! We would so appreciate it if you could take the time to
vote for The Dragontree for best: massage, acupuncture, skin care, day spa and bath and body shop. Thank you! thank you! Thank you!
Vote here:
http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/1514815/Best-of-Boulder-Survey-2014
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