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Today is the pre-release for our new book, called Rituals for Transformation, which we wrote over the past year. It feels a little daunting to put it out in the world, because it goes places where our previous works haven’t.
Our earlier efforts were mainly about teaching people how to make material changes in their lives. We taught things like self-care, goal setting, planning, and relationship building. We’ve seen great value in this work, and have tons of success stories to back it up, but we saw a need to go deeper.
While there is so much about our material circumstances that to be grateful for, we feel there’s an even higher aim: a state of wellbeing that’s with us regardless of circumstances. All along, we’ve touched on the psychological and spiritual perspectives that go along with an exceptional life, but this is the first work we’ve dedicated entirely to this dimension.
For us, the most effective programs for change involved being immersed in a group or training for an extended period of time without breaks, and that’s what we intended to create here. It’s a framework for transformation – for healing the mind, changing perspective, and opening to Spirit. A 108-day course for developing the kind of outlook that makes peace and joy accessible regardless of what’s happening in your life.
Knowing how busy people are these days, we made it so that you can benefit from it even if you’re only able to dedicate a modest amount of time and energy (though we encourage participants to invest more whenever possible). Each day involves a small amount of reading (just one page), meditation, writing, and applying the day’s lesson throughout the day. By the 108th day, you’ll be in a different place.
It’s a journey that’ll change you. If you’re someone who fears change, rest assured that the change we’re talking about is for your highest good. This means it may not be what’s easiest or fastest, but it’s the deepest and the realest kind of change.
- How would it be if you felt trust rather than fear in times of uncertainty?
- What if you were at peace with your body, regardless of its appearance or function?
- How would life be different if you weren’t controlled by your thoughts and emotions?
- What would life be like if you were able to focus on all the things you’re grateful for, rather than being consumed by the problems?
- How would it feel to be okay with whatever happens?
- What would it be like to experience yourself as one with the Source of everything, playing in this life while always remembering that you are loved and connected?
Sound good? We’re with you. This is the kind of life we want, too. We’re engaged in this work day in and day out, and we’ll be doing it for the rest of our lives. There’s a challenge and an opportunity in every moment. And there’s great joy and inspiration in sharing this process with others. That’s why we decided to write this book – so there will be more of us consciously walking the path together, sharing support, shining a light on darkness and untruth, jointly rising to the occasion.
We’d love to have you join us.
Be well,
Briana and Dr. Peter Borten
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After so many newsletters about pretty deep topics, I thought I’d get really superficial this week and talk about skin. Winter’s dryness and cold plus extra clothing, obsessive handwashing, and indoor heating form a combination that can be very hard on our skin. My whole life, I’ve had skin that dislikes winter. Even if your skin doesn’t get flaky or irritated, taking good care of your skin at this time of year may still help it retain its youthful elasticity and luster. Here are eleven self-care recommendations:
Drink plenty of water. Divide the number of pounds you weigh in half – that’s the number of ounces of watacer to drink evenly over the course of the day (ideally at room temperature).
Eat moistening foods. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, certain foods are considered to build vital fluids in the body which are disseminated to the skin and affect skin moisture. Some of these foods include: sesame seeds (especially the black kind), dark leafy greens, berries, pears, oranges, watermelon, string beans, tomatoes, flax seed, hemp seed, tomatoes, plums, mung beans and sprouts, cucumber, water chestnuts, eggs, fish, nuts, seed and nut oils.
Get a humidifier. In our house in Colorado, the usual tabletop humidifiers make very little difference in the moisture of the air, but I’ve heard good things about “whole house humidifiers” and I plan to get one for our home soon. They hook up to your water line (so you don’t need to refill them) and moisten the air that moves through your heating system. The units cost a couple hundred dollars and installation is a few hundred more (or you could do it yourself if you’re handy).
Put oil on your skin. Lotions are emulsions of oil and water, and while they’re moisturizing, they aim to be well absorbed and to feel light and residue-free. As such, lighter lotions may not cut it if you have very dry skin, or they may need to be applied many times a day. If your skin suffers during the winter, you may need something that functions more as a barrier – that impedes water loss through the skin and protects against the elements – such as: pure oil (coconut, jojoba, grape seed, sesame (untoasted), etc.); a thicker lotion that contains more oil or heavier oils (like castor, rosehip seed, or tamanu oil); or a semi-solid lotion with even heavier, waxy ingredients (shea butter, cocoa butter, or beeswax). However, the richest of these (shea butter and wax) are probably too heavy for the face and could clog your pores.
Exfoliate gently before moisturizing and apply moisturizer to still-damp skin. As long as your skin isn’t irritated, gently removing the top layer of dead cells will make it easier for moisturizers to penetrate. I like a coarse cloth, raw silk gloves, or a natural plant bristle brush for exfoliating the whole body. After bathing, you have a window of a few minutes during which moisturizers will work best. Personally, I enjoy the combination of dry skin brushing followed by a shower and then a brisk self-massage with oil (a practice called abhyanga in Ayurveda).
Use less soap. Soap dries out your skin and is usually unnecessary.
If your hands get chapped, dry them thoroughly after washing. Letting your skin air dry slowly usually results in drier skin. This is especially important for people with eczema.
Avoid colors, synthetic fragrances, and other chemicals in your detergents and body care products. Dry winter skin is often extra sensitive to chemicals – and absorbs them more effectively.
Wash in cooler water. If your skin becomes more sensitive in the winter, and especially if you have a rash, hot water will often make it worse. Bathe in the coolest water you can tolerate.
Use sunscreen. I don’t buy into the idea that we should wear sunscreen constantly, but judicious use has some benefits. Sun exposure feels good, activates immune cells, and stimulates vitamin D production in our skin, which is beneficial to our health in numerous ways. But the UV portion of sunlight causes damage to our tissues through a process called oxidation. (It’s the same process that causes oils to go rancid, vitamins to spoil, and meat to turn grey.)
We all know sunburns are bad, but even without burning, extended exposure to UV light tends to cause yellowing, dryness, and wrinkling of our skin. It damages fibers called elastin, which, as you might guess from the name, gives our skin its elasticity. Over the years, this makes our skin saggy and more prone to tearing. UV light also blesses us with age spots or “liver spots.” And finally, it’s a major risk factor in skin cancers, especially the non-melanoma kinds. So, if you like youthful skin, sunscreen is a good idea – especially in the middle of the day – and it’s easy to forget to use it in the winter. Winter sun isn’t usually direct enough to stimulate vitamin D synthesis, but it’s still strong enough to cause skin damage (especially in sunny places).
I don’t like chemical sunscreens, so I steer my patients to mineral-based ones – zinc oxide and titanium oxide. Zinc is the best option: it’s an excellent skin soother and barrier, and it works better than any other sunscreen chemical approved for use in the U.S. It’s the main ingredient in many diaper rash ointments and was responsible for that classic white stripe on lifeguards’ noses years ago.
Nowadays, most mineral sunscreens aren’t quite as opaque – some are completely transparent – probably because manufacturers have gotten better at creating smaller particles of zinc and titanium. However, this presents a big unknown – are these tiny “nanoparticles” entering our cells and doing something bad? In response to initial concerns, some companies now sell “non-nano” mineral sunscreens, but according to the Environmental Working Group (EWG) even the mineral particles in these products would technically be considered “nano” sized.
Yet, EWG still believes they are our best option. A mixture of particle sizes, some nano and some larger, seems to offer the best sun protection, and the evidence so far indicates that they don’t penetrate into the skin far enough to encounter living cells. However, if you were to inhale a bunch of mineral sunscreen in powder or spray form, that wouldn’t be good for your lungs.
See a good skin care specialist. Believe it or not, I was co-owner of a spa for a couple years before I got my first facial. If I was going to take the time to get a spa treatment, I’d always opt for a massage. But one year, on my birthday, Briana scheduled a facial for me, and it was just lovely. Having someone steam and massage oils into your face is deeply relaxing. And I had to admit, my skin was glowing afterwards. I highly recommend it.
I hope these recommendations help you get through the winter with moister, healthier, happier skin.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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Some years ago, I was apprenticing under an elder practitioner, and we stepped into the treatment room to meet a tan, muscular guy with a crushing handshake, a loud voice, and a surplus of confidence. “I just need a tune up,” he yelled immediately, lest we consider for even a moment that there could be anything wrong with him. He went on describe a life of conquest and wealth, from climbing Mount Everest to buying, selling, and merging companies. He was also kind enough to share his personal credo: that everyone should maintain a “cash cushion” of at least a million dollars – just in case. The only health issue he could think of was an old ankle injury.
But my mentor was a healer of spirits, not ankles. And I could sense, as he felt the patient’s pulses and asked polite questions, that he was smelling, seeing, hearing, and feeling information on another dimension. We stepped out of the room and he said, “The bigger the front, the bigger the back.”
I’m sure you get the gist of this expression even if you’re not familiar with it. You’ve heard about the preacher who foams at the mouth about moral depravity and then gets caught with a prostitute. In this patient’s case, we didn’t uncover anything scandalous, just a cowering core of insecurity and isolation that made all his accomplishments feel worthless. He had so much invested in the “front” in order to avoid revealing or confronting the “back.” To use the Japanese terminology from last week, we could see these fronts and backs as jitsu (“jit-soo”) and kyo (“kee-oh”).
If a kyo is an inner weakness, instability, or deficiency, a jitsu is the resulting drive to protect, acquire, and resist. Greed is always a jitsu emanating from some misunderstood or unrecognized kyo, and the same is usually the case with other strong drives that benefit only the individual’s ego or pocketbook.
Psychologists and philosophers have been digging for the secret kyos behind pathological behaviors for centuries. Many kyos would fall under what Carl Jung referred to as the “shadow aspect” – that usually hidden part of the personality where we keep everything we regard as wrong or bad. Jung said, “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”
It’s interesting to consider this front/back dynamic in an age when obesity is epidemic, military spending is outrageous, and people stab each other for Black Friday deals. What’s the hole we’re trying to fill or protect with so much acquisition and armor?
Whatever our individual kyos, I’m inclined to believe there is a deeper, central kyo embedded in the collective unconscious. It’s the kyo of the kyo, a core weakness that’s the same for everyone even if it’s expressed uniquely by each of us. While it’s gratifying when our jitsu activities lead to the recognition and treatment of our personal kyo, it’s monumental when we uncover and heal the one primal kyo.
As I see it, the fundamental kyo is the belief that we are separate from our world. Separate from God, Nature, Spirit (or whatever other term you like), separate from other humans, and separate even from ourselves, i.e., ultimately alone. This apparent separation is what allows us to perceive a world of attack and defense; a world in which our gains come at the expense of another’s loss; a feeling of guilt (for separating from our source) and blame; and an endless drive to find something that will correct this unsettled feeling.
All these expressions of the kyo are confused except possibly the last – a drive to find something that will correct this unsettled feeling. Of course it’s possible, if this drive is outwardly directed, for it to lead to overeating, gambling, hyper-acqusition, drug addiction, and more instability. But it’s also possible that it might direct us to uncover the truth: that we’re not actually separate or alone, and that we need nothing but to wake up.
Oneness with everything – sometimes called Self realization or unity consciousness – is a theme common to so many spiritual traditions and described by so many thoroughly rational, nonzealous people, that it would be difficult for an intelligent and open-minded person to dismiss it, even if the mind has no point of reference for it. In fact, I’ve noticed that once the seed of this concept is willingly invited into one’s mind, it tends not to leave. It’s compelling, because it would mean an end to so much conflict, an opening to such deep peace, and a resolution of our core kyo.
Over the week, I encourage you to feel into the underlying instability that compels you to seek for things outside yourself. Feel into the vulnerability that makes you want to attack others and defend yourself. Are these kyos different? Or do they emanate from one central idea? Can you determine what that idea is? If so, is it true? Tell me what you discover.
Regardless of your ability to unearth these feelings or beliefs, just arousing the spirit of curiosity is valuable. At the least, it’s better than being at the mercy of below-the-radar impulses.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
P.S. If you didn’t read last week’s article on jitsu, kyo, and amoebas, you can check it out HERE.
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Today is the pre-release for our new book, called Rituals for Transformation, which we wrote over the past year. It feels a little daunting to put it out in the world, because it goes places where our previous works haven’t.
Our earlier efforts were mainly about teaching people how to make material changes in their lives. We taught things like self-care, goal setting, planning, and relationship building. We’ve seen great value in this work, and have tons of success stories to back it up, but we saw a need to go deeper.
While there is so much about our material circumstances that to be grateful for, we feel there’s an even higher aim: a state of wellbeing that’s with us regardless of circumstances. All along, we’ve touched on the psychological and spiritual perspectives that go along with an exceptional life, but this is the first work we’ve dedicated entirely to this dimension.
For us, the most effective programs for change involved being immersed in a group or training for an extended period of time without breaks, and that’s what we intended to create here. It’s a framework for transformation – for healing the mind, changing perspective, and opening to Spirit. A 108-day course for developing the kind of outlook that makes peace and joy accessible regardless of what’s happening in your life.
Knowing how busy people are these days, we made it so that you can benefit from it even if you’re only able to dedicate a modest amount of time and energy (though we encourage participants to invest more whenever possible). Each day involves a small amount of reading (just one page), meditation, writing, and applying the day’s lesson throughout the day. By the 108th day, you’ll be in a different place.
It’s a journey that’ll change you. If you’re someone who fears change, rest assured that the change we’re talking about is for your highest good. This means it may not be what’s easiest or fastest, but it’s the deepest and the realest kind of change.
- How would it be if you felt trust rather than fear in times of uncertainty?
- What if you were at peace with your body, regardless of its appearance or function?
- How would life be different if you weren’t controlled by your thoughts and emotions?
- What would life be like if you were able to focus on all the things you’re grateful for, rather than being consumed by the problems?
- How would it feel to be okay with whatever happens?
- What would it be like to experience yourself as one with the Source of everything, playing in this life while always remembering that you are loved and connected?
Sound good? We’re with you. This is the kind of life we want, too. We’re engaged in this work day in and day out, and we’ll be doing it for the rest of our lives. There’s a challenge and an opportunity in every moment. And there’s great joy and inspiration in sharing this process with others. That’s why we decided to write this book – so there will be more of us consciously walking the path together, sharing support, shining a light on darkness and untruth, jointly rising to the occasion.
We’d love to have you join us.
Be well,
Briana and Dr. Peter Borten
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Have you read Future Shock by Alvin Toffler? If not, I think you may enjoy it.
Thank you for the good read. Totally agree.
Amy
Hi Amy,
I’ve been hearing of Toffler’s futurist writings for years, but haven’t picked up one of his books yet. Thanks for the reminder. I will.
Be well,
Peter
What you’ve written here hit the mark perfectly. …I’ve noticed this happening and there are days I feel powerless against it. Thank you, I no longer feel alone. ..
Trying to find my way to a simpler time