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[post_content] => “I just feel sad every night. It’s like I can hold it off until dark, and then it all comes pouring in,” I said in tears.
I was in Mexico with a group of close girlfriends and I should have felt elated: it was beautiful, I was with friends I love, and there was plenty of guacamole and margaritas.
But instead I felt like I was completing the final unraveling of a comfortable sweater that I had been wearing to keep me safe and was now coming off no matter how much I resisted. It had been almost a year of this profoundly challenging experience of feeling lost. Really lost.
“Go inside. What wants to come through? Something is shifting that you’re resisting, what if you allowed it to become?” whispered one of my sisters in the circle.
What if I allowed myself to become?
That’s when I started to live that question: what if I allowed myself to become . . . fully me?
Over the next year I went deep inside to find answers and to continue with curiosity, and in that exploration I discovered so much: my soul purpose, unshakable happiness, and a strong devotion to the Truth.
It wasn’t a magical pill, or even an “aha!” moment, it was a seed that was planted that grew and blossomed over time. It was my own curiosity and dedication that brought me on a journey for the evolution of my soul… and to this work to waking people up to their gifts and true calling.
It finally clicked.
“Oh! This is what I’m here for!”
Got it.
The gentle nudges and messages from a deeper source had been guiding me all along to show me my seat in the web of the Universe. And even though it wasn’t comfortable, still isn’t (where’s that damn sweater from before!?), it feels like fully living.
Magic everywhere.
Delight in my work.
Lightness.
Here. Learning. Growing. Ever evolving. Student of love.
So, what about you?
Are you feeling called to do or be something more? Is there some persistent inner voice begging for you to step into your full potential?
That’s the work we’ll do together: align you with your Highest Self.
What that looks like:
. . . where you want to go in your life is clear.
. . . your relationships develop and unfold with ease.
. . . anxiety, fear, and worry fall away as you create deep trust of your soul to lead the way.
. . . abundance flows in to support your life and purpose.
. . . your health and self-care find a significant place in your day-to-day, knowing that it’s an honor to live in this body.
Can you check all those boxes?
If so - high five!
If not - do you want to?
Now, I do this work for you and others every day in my
Soul Sessions– I help you wake up to your own calling, to hear your soul’s voice arise within you and direct your life, to give you clarity and fill you with purpose.
In
Soul Sessions I’ll help you discover who you really are, find clarity, and move beyond the noise that distracts from your most authentic self. If you’re feeling stuck, hindered, or afraid in life, business, or love – let’s work together and set you free of these limitations so you can really soar.
You have so much potential.
It’s time to tap into it.
You are ready.
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When Briana and I were creating the Dragontree Life Coach training program, we had lots and lots of meetings to discuss the curriculum. During one of those meetings I suddenly remembered something that happened in a classroom about 20 years earlier . . .
I was in graduate school for Asian medicine and I was taking a course in a subtle form of healing called Jin Shin Do. It involves touching acupuncture points on a patient’s body with minimal pressure. The idea isn’t to give a massage or manipulate the tissue, but to simply make contact, forming circuits between the points and supporting them to perform their therapeutic functions.
At the same time, I was studying massage, herbal medicine, and acupuncture – modalities where both practitioner and patient could agree that something more “obvious” was being done. In comparison I had some doubts about whether Jin Shin Do would accomplish anything, but I was pleasantly surprised. As the weeks passed and my classmates and I treated each other, we all noticed improvements in our physical and psychological health. And because the intervention was so gentle, there weren’t any side effects.
I was especially amazed at how recipients’ experiences were affected when the practitioners were secretly instructed to hold a certain mental focus during the treatment. For instance, sometimes the instructor would have the practitioners think about what they were going to make for dinner, or about their finances, or to keep the word “love” in mind while touching the recipient.
One focus resulted in the best experiences for the recipients. When the practitioners were told (without the recipients’ knowledge) to hold in mind the phrase “I am here for you,” the recipients reported feeling the deepest relaxation, profound peace, and a sense of trust in the process. (Unsurprisingly, when the practitioners spent the session thinking about dinner or money, the recipients reported that it didn’t feel like the treatment did anything).
Though it was a fleeting experience, it taught me a lot about what humans want and how we can best support each other. When it came to developing the coaching curriculum, this memory shaped our approach. While it may sound great to be able to solve people’s problems for them, often it’s even more supportive to be a steadfast presence for them – to “hold space” so they can safely feel and explore what’s happening for them . . . and discover the solution themselves.
This recognition sometimes comes as a big relief to coaches (or anyone in the healing arts) because it means you don’t have to have all the answers. In fact, I think it’s safe to say you’ll never have them. You can let yourself off the hook.
If you care for people and like to help, if you feel joy from seeing someone grow and develop their superpowers, you can do this. If you’re able to say, “I am here for you,” you’re able to support healing and evolution. And if you’d like some instruction in doing this work – some heart-centered, compassionate, holistic, nature-based, and thoroughly beautiful instruction – please check out our Dragontree Life Coaching Program.
Be well,
Peter
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I bet that if I said, “Let’s start the process of dealing with your psychological baggage,” most people would tense up a bit and expect that they’re in for a “heavy” experience. It’s funny, because if we’re carrying around this baggage all the time, it already represents a certain “weight” that we’ve gotten used to, and the “dealing with it” part should amount to feeling lighter and freer.
While writing our book, The Well Life, we felt it simply wasn’t possible to guide people to the wellest of lives without encouraging them to resolve and/or release the stuff from the past that may be undermining their best efforts to be healthy and successful today. But we anticipated that some readers might react to this agenda about as well as if we offered to give them an amateur root canal.
I don’t have enough space in an article to explain our whole methodology – not to mention the approaches we use before and after to prepare for and stabilize this work. But I’d like to share an except on how we introduce this process, which I hope will help you feel ready to liberate yourself:
“Now, before you think, “Oh boy, this is going to be heavy,” we want to tell you that this doesn’t have to be a heavy experience. In fact, it’s an opportunity to feel lighter. It’s just that, between the heaviness and the lightness, there’s often something that one of our former teachers calls a “veil of discomfort.” The discomfort is only a veil because it’s really quite insubstantial. As soon as we become willing to experience it, we readily pass through it. And on the other side is lightness and opportunity!
Let’s talk about how these loose ends from your past can undermine you. One thing that may happen when you prepare to go for something big (whether it be a new relationship, a career change, or a cross-country move) is that your mind quickly runs through all your baggage—unresolved issues, past traumas, mistakes, losses—and tells you this is a bad idea.
Rather than hating your mind for this, it’s important to remember that you programmed this mind. You started out as a baby with a clean mental slate, and little by little you trained your mind to look out for things that might threaten your survival or happiness. That’s how your mind is built to work. It just happens that most minds are overly eager to do this job (especially if it means that your mind gets to monopolize your attention).
The more intense the bad experiences of your past, the deeper the groove they cut in your mental record. The mind looks for anything in your present that even remotely resembles these past experiences so that it can steer you clear from repeating them. It produces warning thoughts and initiates intense emotions to grab your attention.
So what can you do? Thank your mind for its efforts to protect you, but inform it that it’s working from outdated beliefs and overly generalized data. There’s no purpose in blaming yourself for how your mind functions. You’ve done your best with the resources that were available to you in each moment. But if you want the freedom to show up to each moment without being restrained by your past, it’s imperative to recognize that your baggage impedes this. Limiting beliefs and the echoes of past emotions are an intrusion on your space and the peace that lies within.
The key to identifying past incidents that get priority cleanup status is that when you bring them to mind and then check in with your body, you don’t feel altogether light and clean. Instead, you might feel heavy, tight, agitated, or constricted. Or a negative emotion might come up, such as guilt, fear, shame, anger, regret, sadness, or grief.
It’s possible that something you did that was objectively bad, like stealing the Statue of Liberty and burying it in your backyard, doesn’t actually provoke an especially strong physical or emotional response when you focus on it. In such cases, it’s important to remember that the objective “sin rating” of an event is less significant than how much of a hook it has in you. On the other hand, you might have accidentally thrown away your child’s first finger-painting and experience a tremendous feeling of guilt when you think about it—this would be something worth addressing.
Think of this process like cleaning your living space. When your house is filthy, there are piles of documents, dishes, laundry, and areas needing repair. It can feel so daunting you don’t know where to begin. You don’t even want to begin. But once you start, and then you have one room that’s clutter-free, it feels more manageable. Eventually, the whole house is pretty well in order, and then it’s fairly easy to stay on top of it. In the same way, as you clean up your life, you’ll find it both easier and more appealing to continue to clean, and to nip any new messes in the bud so they don’t impede your future.”
If this sounds good to you, I encourage you to let go of something right now. If you feel into your body, are you totally at ease? If not, is the unease associated with something that’s unresolved? Something you want to be different? Something you’re holding onto? Why not let it go – even if just for this moment? First try feeling it without any resistance, welcoming the feeling completely. Then take a breath into the feeling and as you exhale, let it go.
If you’re intrigued by where we’re headed, check out our book.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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[post_content] => “I just feel sad every night. It’s like I can hold it off until dark, and then it all comes pouring in,” I said in tears.
I was in Mexico with a group of close girlfriends and I should have felt elated: it was beautiful, I was with friends I love, and there was plenty of guacamole and margaritas.
But instead I felt like I was completing the final unraveling of a comfortable sweater that I had been wearing to keep me safe and was now coming off no matter how much I resisted. It had been almost a year of this profoundly challenging experience of feeling lost. Really lost.
“Go inside. What wants to come through? Something is shifting that you’re resisting, what if you allowed it to become?” whispered one of my sisters in the circle.
What if I allowed myself to become?
That’s when I started to live that question: what if I allowed myself to become . . . fully me?
Over the next year I went deep inside to find answers and to continue with curiosity, and in that exploration I discovered so much: my soul purpose, unshakable happiness, and a strong devotion to the Truth.
It wasn’t a magical pill, or even an “aha!” moment, it was a seed that was planted that grew and blossomed over time. It was my own curiosity and dedication that brought me on a journey for the evolution of my soul… and to this work to waking people up to their gifts and true calling.
It finally clicked.
“Oh! This is what I’m here for!”
Got it.
The gentle nudges and messages from a deeper source had been guiding me all along to show me my seat in the web of the Universe. And even though it wasn’t comfortable, still isn’t (where’s that damn sweater from before!?), it feels like fully living.
Magic everywhere.
Delight in my work.
Lightness.
Here. Learning. Growing. Ever evolving. Student of love.
So, what about you?
Are you feeling called to do or be something more? Is there some persistent inner voice begging for you to step into your full potential?
That’s the work we’ll do together: align you with your Highest Self.
What that looks like:
. . . where you want to go in your life is clear.
. . . your relationships develop and unfold with ease.
. . . anxiety, fear, and worry fall away as you create deep trust of your soul to lead the way.
. . . abundance flows in to support your life and purpose.
. . . your health and self-care find a significant place in your day-to-day, knowing that it’s an honor to live in this body.
Can you check all those boxes?
If so - high five!
If not - do you want to?
Now, I do this work for you and others every day in my
Soul Sessions– I help you wake up to your own calling, to hear your soul’s voice arise within you and direct your life, to give you clarity and fill you with purpose.
In
Soul Sessions I’ll help you discover who you really are, find clarity, and move beyond the noise that distracts from your most authentic self. If you’re feeling stuck, hindered, or afraid in life, business, or love – let’s work together and set you free of these limitations so you can really soar.
You have so much potential.
It’s time to tap into it.
You are ready.
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Cart
I am so excited to get to try all these products. I have been drooling over them for a while but wasn’t sure which to order. This will be so nice to try and decide which ones I love… which I am sure I will!
Thanks for the video. It was a great introduction to the products!