WP_Query Object
(
[query] => Array
(
[category__in] => Array
(
[0] => 19
[1] => 20
)
[post__not_in] => Array
(
[0] => 4095
)
[posts_per_page] => 50
[ignore_sticky_posts] => 1
[orderby] => desc
[_shuffle_and_pick] => 3
)
[query_vars] => Array
(
[category__in] => Array
(
[0] => 19
[1] => 20
)
[post__not_in] => Array
(
[0] => 4095
)
[posts_per_page] => 50
[ignore_sticky_posts] => 1
[orderby] => desc
[_shuffle_and_pick] => 3
[error] =>
[m] =>
[p] => 0
[post_parent] =>
[subpost] =>
[subpost_id] =>
[attachment] =>
[attachment_id] => 0
[name] =>
[pagename] =>
[page_id] => 0
[second] =>
[minute] =>
[hour] =>
[day] => 0
[monthnum] => 0
[year] => 0
[w] => 0
[category_name] => peter-borten
[tag] =>
[cat] => 19
[tag_id] =>
[author] =>
[author_name] =>
[feed] =>
[tb] =>
[paged] => 0
[meta_key] =>
[meta_value] =>
[preview] =>
[s] =>
[sentence] =>
[title] =>
[fields] =>
[menu_order] =>
[embed] =>
[category__not_in] => Array
(
)
[category__and] => Array
(
)
[post__in] => Array
(
)
[post_name__in] => Array
(
)
[tag__in] => Array
(
)
[tag__not_in] => Array
(
)
[tag__and] => Array
(
)
[tag_slug__in] => Array
(
)
[tag_slug__and] => Array
(
)
[post_parent__in] => Array
(
)
[post_parent__not_in] => Array
(
)
[author__in] => Array
(
)
[author__not_in] => Array
(
)
[suppress_filters] =>
[cache_results] => 1
[update_post_term_cache] => 1
[lazy_load_term_meta] => 1
[update_post_meta_cache] => 1
[post_type] =>
[nopaging] =>
[comments_per_page] => 50
[no_found_rows] =>
[order] => DESC
)
[tax_query] => WP_Tax_Query Object
(
[queries] => Array
(
[0] => Array
(
[taxonomy] => category
[terms] => Array
(
[0] => 19
[1] => 20
)
[field] => term_id
[operator] => IN
[include_children] =>
)
)
[relation] => AND
[table_aliases:protected] => Array
(
[0] => wp_term_relationships
)
[queried_terms] => Array
(
[category] => Array
(
[terms] => Array
(
[0] => 19
[1] => 20
)
[field] => term_id
)
)
[primary_table] => wp_posts
[primary_id_column] => ID
)
[meta_query] => WP_Meta_Query Object
(
[queries] => Array
(
)
[relation] =>
[meta_table] =>
[meta_id_column] =>
[primary_table] =>
[primary_id_column] =>
[table_aliases:protected] => Array
(
)
[clauses:protected] => Array
(
)
[has_or_relation:protected] =>
)
[date_query] =>
[request] => SELECT SQL_CALC_FOUND_ROWS wp_posts.ID FROM wp_posts LEFT JOIN wp_term_relationships ON (wp_posts.ID = wp_term_relationships.object_id) WHERE 1=1 AND wp_posts.ID NOT IN (4095) AND (
wp_term_relationships.term_taxonomy_id IN (19,20)
) AND wp_posts.post_type = 'post' AND (wp_posts.post_status = 'publish' OR wp_posts.post_status = 'acf-disabled') GROUP BY wp_posts.ID ORDER BY wp_posts.post_date DESC LIMIT 0, 50
[posts] => Array
(
[0] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 6704
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2017-07-05 17:37:54
[post_date_gmt] => 2017-07-05 17:37:54
[post_content] =>
Today is the pre-release for our new book, called Rituals for Transformation, which we wrote over the past year. It feels a little daunting to put it out in the world, because it goes places where our previous works haven’t.
Our earlier efforts were mainly about teaching people how to make material changes in their lives. We taught things like self-care, goal setting, planning, and relationship building. We’ve seen great value in this work, and have tons of success stories to back it up, but we saw a need to go deeper.
While there is so much about our material circumstances that to be grateful for, we feel there’s an even higher aim: a state of wellbeing that’s with us regardless of circumstances. All along, we’ve touched on the psychological and spiritual perspectives that go along with an exceptional life, but this is the first work we’ve dedicated entirely to this dimension.
For us, the most effective programs for change involved being immersed in a group or training for an extended period of time without breaks, and that’s what we intended to create here. It’s a framework for transformation – for healing the mind, changing perspective, and opening to Spirit. A 108-day course for developing the kind of outlook that makes peace and joy accessible regardless of what’s happening in your life.
Knowing how busy people are these days, we made it so that you can benefit from it even if you’re only able to dedicate a modest amount of time and energy (though we encourage participants to invest more whenever possible). Each day involves a small amount of reading (just one page), meditation, writing, and applying the day’s lesson throughout the day. By the 108th day, you’ll be in a different place.
It’s a journey that’ll change you. If you’re someone who fears change, rest assured that the change we’re talking about is for your highest good. This means it may not be what’s easiest or fastest, but it’s the deepest and the realest kind of change.
- How would it be if you felt trust rather than fear in times of uncertainty?
- What if you were at peace with your body, regardless of its appearance or function?
- How would life be different if you weren’t controlled by your thoughts and emotions?
- What would life be like if you were able to focus on all the things you’re grateful for, rather than being consumed by the problems?
- How would it feel to be okay with whatever happens?
- What would it be like to experience yourself as one with the Source of everything, playing in this life while always remembering that you are loved and connected?
Sound good? We’re with you. This is the kind of life we want, too. We’re engaged in this work day in and day out, and we’ll be doing it for the rest of our lives. There’s a challenge and an opportunity in every moment. And there’s great joy and inspiration in sharing this process with others. That’s why we decided to write this book – so there will be more of us consciously walking the path together, sharing support, shining a light on darkness and untruth, jointly rising to the occasion.
We’d love to have you join us.
Be well,
Briana and Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => Rituals For Transformation
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => rituals-for-transformation
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2017-07-05 17:42:47
[post_modified_gmt] => 2017-07-05 17:42:47
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => http://www.thedragontree.com/?p=6704
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 5
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[1] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 6602
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2017-02-14 18:32:38
[post_date_gmt] => 2017-02-14 18:32:38
[post_content] => For the past couple weeks, I’ve been writing about the “Chinese Clock” – a principle from Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) whereby each of twelve internal organs has a two-hour period in the day when it’s considered to be strongest. By following this clock, we can coordinate certain activities with appropriate organs and experience better health and a sense of alignment. Also, an issue that consistently occurs at the same time of day may give a clue about the organ involved. Last week, we left off with the end of Kidney Time at 7:00 PM, and today we’ll pick it up from there.
7:00 to 9:00 PM – Pericardium Time
The pericardium is a double-layered sac that encloses and protects the heart. Perhaps it’s a bit odd that this is one of the twelve primary organs and the brain isn’t, but it speaks to the primacy of the heart in Daoist thought and TCM. The heart is so important – it must be spared damage at any cost – that it has its own “Heart Protector.”
If the heart is the Empress living in her palace, the pericardium is the drawbridge that allows or blocks access to her. It governs intimacy. When we let someone “into” our heart, or shut them out, we’re exercising our pericardium. And when someone with access hurts us, the pericardium often takes the brunt of the blow. Such blows can damage this mechanism. A big enough trauma may lead us to adopt a policy of “No one gets in. Ever. No matter what” – sometimes excluding even ourselves. Alternatively, the pericardium may get stuck in the open position if we decide, “What’s the use? Everyone gets in. Walk all over me.”
Pericardium Time is optimal for intimacy – sexual and otherwise – with both others and yourself. If you’re in a healthy love relationship, this is a good time for a mutual lowering of drawbridges to experience a meeting of the portals of your consciousness. This is also a good time to contemplate and repair the Protector of your heart, to recognize that scars needn’t impair its function. Thank it for its service and remind it that it can still respond intelligently on a case-by-case basis to requests for intimacy.
9:00 to 11:00 PM – San Jiao Time
San Jiao means “triple warmer” and it’s the last of our four fire organs. It consists of three virtual compartments that contain and “warm” our organs. It functions as something of a communication network and thermostat – allowing the internal organs to talk to each other and keeping the internal environment comfortable. The closest physiological equivalent is our endocrine (hormonal) system, which also sets our body temperature and distributes chemical messengers.
Metaphorically, the San Jiao presides over our social behavior. It’s the social thermostat that enables us to “feel out” a situation and present ourselves in a way that’s appropriate and effective. Whereas the pericardium is a yin organ that relates to deeper, more intimate forms of communication, the San Jiao is its yang partner, governing communication on a more external level.
If your endocrine system is taxed, this would be a good time to go to sleep so all your resources can be directed toward restoring these functions. Otherwise, this time period is ideal for light social interaction, playing games, or watching something funny or heartwarming.
Next week, I’ll wrap up this series with the final three organs – gallbladder, liver, and lungs. Meanwhile, I invite you to spend the week being mindful in your moments of connection – both social and intimate. How does your presence affect the interaction? What’s possible through this union?
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
P.S. If you missed them you can click here to read Part One, and click here to read Part Two.
[post_title] => Tick Tock, Part Three – How to Follow the Clock of Life
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => tick-tock-part-three-follow-clock-life
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] => http://www.thedragontree.com/2017/01/31/tick-tock-learning-clock-life/
http://www.thedragontree.com/2017/02/07/tick-tock-part-two-follow-clock-life/
[post_modified] => 2017-02-15 05:26:42
[post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-15 05:26:42
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => http://www.thedragontree.com/?p=6602
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 5
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[2] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 6801
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2017-11-07 19:01:47
[post_date_gmt] => 2017-11-07 19:01:47
[post_content] =>
When I was a teenager, I invested $400 in 20 years of anger and a big, hard, life-changing lesson. I had seen this guy around – a friend of a friend named Justin – carrying the exact model of guitar that I wanted, and there was a rumor that he was looking to sell it. I tracked him down in a parking lot by the beach where high schoolers hung out on summer nights.
He was among a group of kids smoking cigarettes on a Mexican blanket in the back of a van. As I approached him, he nodded at me in recognition, and I asked him about the guitar. He said he had paid $800 for the instrument but was willing to let it go for half of that because he needed money fast. So fast, in fact, that he wanted me to pay him for it on the spot even though he didn’t have the guitar with him. That way, he explained, he would know I was serious about it and he wouldn’t sell it to another guy that he had already promised it to. I went home and returned with my money, which I handed over, and he agreed to meet me at a coffee shop the next morning with the guitar.
Only, as you can probably guess, he didn’t show up.
I found out where he lived and went to his house. He answered the door flanked by a large, red-faced man several years older than us who looked twitchy, and had scabs on his knuckles. I asked for the guitar.
“What guitar?” Justin replied. “Are you talking about my cousin’s guitar?”
“Yeah,” the man asked, “are you talking about my guitar?” and he pointed to the guitar, which lay on a dirty couch behind them.
“Well it’s my guitar actually,” I stated, trying to sound tougher than I felt. “I paid Justin 400 bucks for it yesterday.”
“Why would you make up a story like that?” his cousin challenged, sneering to reveal a mouthful of broken teeth. “He can’t sell my guitar. Can you, Justin?”
“Nope,” said Justin. “I barely know this loser.”
“Did this little boy give you 400 bucks?” Cousin asked.
“Of course not. Cuz then I’d have 400 bucks. But I’m broke, see?” and he pulled out his wallet and opened it to show that it was empty.
“Well then,” said Cousin, turning back to me, “it looks like you just came here to try to cheat us and that’s not very nice.”
“You’re the ones who are cheating me!” I countered, but my instincts were telling me that no good would come out of pushing this.
“Is this little boy threatening us at our own house, Justin?” Cousin asked.
“It kinda sounds like it,” Justin replied. “It kinda sounds like he wants to fight.” The two of them edged toward me.
“I don’t want to fight,” I said, “I just want the guitar that I paid for.”
“If you don’t want trouble,” said Cousin, “then get off our porch and don’t show your face around here again.”
So I left.
At that age, in that time and place, I believed that getting an adult involved – even one with a badge – simply wasn’t an option. Not solving your own problems was looked down upon, and there was no real escape from retribution for squealing in a small town. No, the only way to manage such an issue was to beat someone up. My guy friends said things like, “You need to go back over there and pound the money out of him!” But I was a skinny pacifist and Justin and his cousin were the burly sons of lobstermen. I suggested that maybe a whole gang of us could visit Justin’s house, but my friends sheepishly declined, murmuring things like, “I don’t have any beef with him . . .”
I only encountered Justin once more in person. I ran into him at a restaurant a few months later, where he was sitting at a table with his friends (no Cousin, luckily). I walked over to him and said, “You still owe me 400 bucks.”
“Yeah?” he replied, “Get in line. I owe money to a lot of people.” And at this he shrugged and looked to his friends who all laughed and started yelling out how much he owed them.
I wish I could say that was the end of it, but I had hundreds – no, thousands – of encounters with him in my mind during and after this time. The incident generated many negative conclusions: that I was an idiot, that people are bad and untrustworthy, that I was weak, that Boston is full of thugs, that I wasn’t manly, that I couldn’t count on my friends, and so on. I had daydreams in which I would imagine myself destroying his life, or going back with a gun or a knife and getting my money, or stealing the guitar.
Sometimes I would forget about the whole thing for a month or six months or a year, but whenever I remembered it again I still felt upset.
It was many years before I entertained the idea of forgiveness. I didn’t like him and I didn’t want to give him anything he didn’t deserve, but I was beginning to get a sense of just how much my own resentment had poisoned me. So I tried it. I said to myself, “I forgive Justin for stealing my money,” and I felt a little relieved.
But shortly thereafter, I caught myself replaying the story and feeling angry. I hadn’t let it go. I was frustrated. I forgave him again. And then I caught myself again. And I repeated this cycle a few more times before a deeper understanding began to dawn on me.
First, I decided that it would be worth $400 to really let this go. So I reframed it – I decided I was letting him have the $400 willingly so that I could just be done with this. I hoped that if I could convince myself that I was choosing this, there would be nothing to resent.
Unfortunately, this strategy wasn’t enough to help me get over the whole thing, but there was value in being rational about the various costs and payoffs involved. I was getting nothing but pain for my $400 as long as I held onto my story. And, Briana once reminded me, if I had taken on those guys: “You would have been paying four hundred dollars to get your butt kicked.”
Second, I discovered that forgiveness is almost always a many-layered process and constitutes more work than we tend to expect. In my case, I had some anger about having gotten ripped off, but I was gradually getting to a place where $400 wasn’t that much money. The actual theft wasn’t the biggest thing. More bothersome was the sense that my instincts were wrong, that I was helpless, that I was a wimp, and especially that I should have done something differently.
I looked long and hard at all of this, and it took me on a deeper journey into my psyche that revealed that these thoughts all had deeper roots. There was a certain mistrust for the world that was important to recognize, but more importantly, a mistrust of myself, and lots of self-blame. I systematically unearthed everything I found and forgave it all.
Third, I realized that true forgiveness is not a single act, but a commitment. I’ve written about this idea in several articles and books, but never before told the story that led me to it. Until I had this revelation, I believed that a proper act of forgiveness should last forever and the resentment should never come back. Thus, I had also some self-blame around not having forgiven correctly, since it wasn’t sticking.
Then I learned that the “correct” way to forgive is to make an agreement with myself that I am going to forgive over and over, as many times as it takes. It’s also an agreement to be mindful enough to notice when I’ve picked up my resentment again, to stop indulging in it, and let it go once more.
So, in the end, perhaps $400 was a bargain for the insights I finally got.
What have you invested in (whether with dollars, energy, time, or some other commodity) that has thus far yielded only pain? Is it possible to reframe it such that you offer to willingly give what has already been given – in exchange for growth, insight, and freedom?
Where is forgiveness in order? Besides the most obvious object of forgiveness, what sub-resentments exist? (It’s worth getting a pen and paper for this, since it might be a long list.) Are you willing to make a lifelong commitment to forgive and thus be freed from a story that has kept you enslaved? It’s heroism, truly.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => I Got My Butt Kicked for Only $400
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => forgiveness
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2017-11-08 05:18:06
[post_modified_gmt] => 2017-11-08 05:18:06
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => http://www.thedragontree.com/?p=6801
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 21
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
)
[post_count] => 3
[current_post] => -1
[in_the_loop] =>
[post] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 6704
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2017-07-05 17:37:54
[post_date_gmt] => 2017-07-05 17:37:54
[post_content] =>
Today is the pre-release for our new book, called Rituals for Transformation, which we wrote over the past year. It feels a little daunting to put it out in the world, because it goes places where our previous works haven’t.
Our earlier efforts were mainly about teaching people how to make material changes in their lives. We taught things like self-care, goal setting, planning, and relationship building. We’ve seen great value in this work, and have tons of success stories to back it up, but we saw a need to go deeper.
While there is so much about our material circumstances that to be grateful for, we feel there’s an even higher aim: a state of wellbeing that’s with us regardless of circumstances. All along, we’ve touched on the psychological and spiritual perspectives that go along with an exceptional life, but this is the first work we’ve dedicated entirely to this dimension.
For us, the most effective programs for change involved being immersed in a group or training for an extended period of time without breaks, and that’s what we intended to create here. It’s a framework for transformation – for healing the mind, changing perspective, and opening to Spirit. A 108-day course for developing the kind of outlook that makes peace and joy accessible regardless of what’s happening in your life.
Knowing how busy people are these days, we made it so that you can benefit from it even if you’re only able to dedicate a modest amount of time and energy (though we encourage participants to invest more whenever possible). Each day involves a small amount of reading (just one page), meditation, writing, and applying the day’s lesson throughout the day. By the 108th day, you’ll be in a different place.
It’s a journey that’ll change you. If you’re someone who fears change, rest assured that the change we’re talking about is for your highest good. This means it may not be what’s easiest or fastest, but it’s the deepest and the realest kind of change.
- How would it be if you felt trust rather than fear in times of uncertainty?
- What if you were at peace with your body, regardless of its appearance or function?
- How would life be different if you weren’t controlled by your thoughts and emotions?
- What would life be like if you were able to focus on all the things you’re grateful for, rather than being consumed by the problems?
- How would it feel to be okay with whatever happens?
- What would it be like to experience yourself as one with the Source of everything, playing in this life while always remembering that you are loved and connected?
Sound good? We’re with you. This is the kind of life we want, too. We’re engaged in this work day in and day out, and we’ll be doing it for the rest of our lives. There’s a challenge and an opportunity in every moment. And there’s great joy and inspiration in sharing this process with others. That’s why we decided to write this book – so there will be more of us consciously walking the path together, sharing support, shining a light on darkness and untruth, jointly rising to the occasion.
We’d love to have you join us.
Be well,
Briana and Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => Rituals For Transformation
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => rituals-for-transformation
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2017-07-05 17:42:47
[post_modified_gmt] => 2017-07-05 17:42:47
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => http://www.thedragontree.com/?p=6704
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 5
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[comment_count] => 0
[current_comment] => -1
[found_posts] => 188
[max_num_pages] => 4
[max_num_comment_pages] => 0
[is_single] =>
[is_preview] =>
[is_page] =>
[is_archive] => 1
[is_date] =>
[is_year] =>
[is_month] =>
[is_day] =>
[is_time] =>
[is_author] =>
[is_category] => 1
[is_tag] =>
[is_tax] =>
[is_search] =>
[is_feed] =>
[is_comment_feed] =>
[is_trackback] =>
[is_home] =>
[is_privacy_policy] =>
[is_404] =>
[is_embed] =>
[is_paged] =>
[is_admin] =>
[is_attachment] =>
[is_singular] =>
[is_robots] =>
[is_posts_page] =>
[is_post_type_archive] =>
[query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => c1acbf73071e7ae698b3ff1013b9c1d6
[query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] =>
[thumbnails_cached] =>
[stopwords:WP_Query:private] =>
[compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => query_vars_hash
[1] => query_vars_changed
)
[compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => init_query_flags
[1] => parse_tax_query
)
)
Cart
