The Dragontree

If you hang out in circles devoted to success or happiness for long, you will certainly hear people talking about being “present.” And yet, it seems elusive to most people. I know because the people in my life who are consistently present stand out. They are not the norm; however, they are the most loved and admired people that I know. When I am around them, it feels different. It feels amazing. The crazy thing is – we can all give that feeling to other people and ourselves for free. Pretty awesome, right?

Here are 5 principles for becoming more present:

1. You are not your mind. In order to play with being present, you have understand that your mind chatter, your thoughts, even your precious feelings are not YOU. You are the observer, the one watching, listening to all of your drama – not the one creating it. You are the pure, unbroken, perfect spirit.Now, your mind isn’t bad, it is a tool. A great tool, in fact. Without it you would not be able to get around the city without getting hit by a car. It is like your trusty laptop, it gives you great information, it can create amazing things, it can calculate probabilities for you– but it isn’t you. You are not your computer, and you are not your mind.
2. Resistance if futile. That’s what they say on Star Trek – and they are right! What you resist persists, because resistance is intense focus, and focus is a whole lot of attention. And what you put your attention on – grows!
   It’s perfectly natural to want to push away unpleasant feelings or situations, but the fact is: if it is happening, then it is happening. The more you can welcome what is, the more authentic you get with life and the more present you become.
3. Now is all you have. This is it. This is your life. This moment is it (and look how smart you are – you are using it to read this blog!). The past and the future are just mental concepts. If you spend your life spinning past events in your head like a never ending washing machine or worrying about the future, you miss the gold. Now is the gold, here for your taking. Take it.
   You get to decide, each and every moment, whether you are going to be downtrodden or delighted. This is a choice. Situational happiness (just like situational sadness) passes, and if you are always searching for a “means” to being happy, you will find many fleeting circumstances, but nothing of true substance. True, substantial happiness is a choice that you make. Make it.
4. You can not be anyone else. You can not be any different in this moment. No two things can occupy the same space at the same time. So since you occupy this moment, you can not possibly occupy this moment as a different version of you. You can not have made different choices in the past; the only choices that you can make differently are the ones you make now. So, quit beating yourself up and comparing yourself to others. You are you! And that is amazing. Like Dr. Seuss says, “You are you, that’s truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you.”
5. Step back from playing that character with your name. Instead of remaining deeply entrenched in this person’s thoughts and swept up in their drama – yes, yes, they’re your thoughts and your drama, and they’re oh so important – broaden your awareness. In this way, you can learn to witness your words being spoken, your feelings being felt, and your thoughts being thunk, all the while maintaining some perspective and avoiding judgment. Judgment blocks our ability to see what is really happening, because our thoughts get in the way, categorizing, filing, and comparing. Having perspective doesn’t mean being aloof; it allows you to see the mental and emotional noise for what it is, and really devote yourself to what’s at hand. The alternative is to be at the mercy of your (usually unacknowledged) thoughts and feelings, a product of your reactions – which greatly infringes on your ability to really be present with what’s actually going here and now.  The more you observe, the more you naturally take your seat as the observer and can move out of your obsession with your mind. You also get the opportunity to fall in love with the world as it is, right now.

If you follow these 5 principles I guarantee that people will feel different in your presence, and you will also be a happier and more successful. In fact, I believe that if you practiced these principles with conviction – there is nothing you could not accomplish. But you must be present to win.

xo,

Briana Borten

Founder of The Dragontree Holistic Day Spa