WP_Query Object
(
[query] => Array
(
[category__in] => Array
(
[0] => 26
)
[post__not_in] => Array
(
[0] => 7210
)
[posts_per_page] => 50
[ignore_sticky_posts] => 1
[orderby] => desc
[_shuffle_and_pick] => 3
)
[query_vars] => Array
(
[category__in] => Array
(
[0] => 26
)
[post__not_in] => Array
(
[0] => 7210
)
[posts_per_page] => 50
[ignore_sticky_posts] => 1
[orderby] => desc
[_shuffle_and_pick] => 3
[error] =>
[m] =>
[p] => 0
[post_parent] =>
[subpost] =>
[subpost_id] =>
[attachment] =>
[attachment_id] => 0
[name] =>
[pagename] =>
[page_id] => 0
[second] =>
[minute] =>
[hour] =>
[day] => 0
[monthnum] => 0
[year] => 0
[w] => 0
[category_name] => relationships_forgiveness
[tag] =>
[cat] => 26
[tag_id] =>
[author] =>
[author_name] =>
[feed] =>
[tb] =>
[paged] => 0
[meta_key] =>
[meta_value] =>
[preview] =>
[s] =>
[sentence] =>
[title] =>
[fields] =>
[menu_order] =>
[embed] =>
[category__not_in] => Array
(
)
[category__and] => Array
(
)
[post__in] => Array
(
)
[post_name__in] => Array
(
)
[tag__in] => Array
(
)
[tag__not_in] => Array
(
)
[tag__and] => Array
(
)
[tag_slug__in] => Array
(
)
[tag_slug__and] => Array
(
)
[post_parent__in] => Array
(
)
[post_parent__not_in] => Array
(
)
[author__in] => Array
(
)
[author__not_in] => Array
(
)
[search_columns] => Array
(
)
[suppress_filters] =>
[cache_results] => 1
[update_post_term_cache] => 1
[update_menu_item_cache] =>
[lazy_load_term_meta] => 1
[update_post_meta_cache] => 1
[post_type] =>
[nopaging] =>
[comments_per_page] => 50
[no_found_rows] =>
[order] => DESC
)
[tax_query] => WP_Tax_Query Object
(
[queries] => Array
(
[0] => Array
(
[taxonomy] => category
[terms] => Array
(
[0] => 26
)
[field] => term_id
[operator] => IN
[include_children] =>
)
)
[relation] => AND
[table_aliases:protected] => Array
(
[0] => wp_term_relationships
)
[queried_terms] => Array
(
[category] => Array
(
[terms] => Array
(
[0] => 26
)
[field] => term_id
)
)
[primary_table] => wp_posts
[primary_id_column] => ID
)
[meta_query] => WP_Meta_Query Object
(
[queries] => Array
(
)
[relation] =>
[meta_table] =>
[meta_id_column] =>
[primary_table] =>
[primary_id_column] =>
[table_aliases:protected] => Array
(
)
[clauses:protected] => Array
(
)
[has_or_relation:protected] =>
)
[date_query] =>
[request] =>
SELECT SQL_CALC_FOUND_ROWS wp_posts.ID
FROM wp_posts LEFT JOIN wp_term_relationships ON (wp_posts.ID = wp_term_relationships.object_id)
WHERE 1=1 AND wp_posts.ID NOT IN (7210) AND (
wp_term_relationships.term_taxonomy_id IN (26)
) AND ((wp_posts.post_type = 'post' AND (wp_posts.post_status = 'publish' OR wp_posts.post_status = 'acf-disabled')))
AND ID NOT IN
(SELECT `post_id` FROM wp_postmeta
WHERE `meta_key` = '_pilotpress_level'
AND `meta_value` IN ('','employee')
AND `post_id` NOT IN
(SELECT `post_id` FROM wp_postmeta
WHERE `meta_key` = '_pilotpress_level'
AND `meta_value` IN ('' )))
GROUP BY wp_posts.ID
ORDER BY wp_posts.post_date DESC
LIMIT 0, 50
[posts] => Array
(
[0] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 4711
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2015-02-10 07:52:34
[post_date_gmt] => 2015-02-10 15:52:34
[post_content] =>
This year, Americans are projected to spend $18.9 billion on Valentine’s Day gifts, which just goes to show you what a powerful force Love is. Because, more than anything else, Love is about presents. Indeed, from the time of cave people, archeologists have found fossils of heart shaped boxes filled with an assortment of the most delectable bits of mammoth meat.
But, seriously, that $18.9 billion figure is a fact. Has Valentine’s Day gone the way of Christmas – a virtuous sentiment that’s turned in a shopping frenzy? I know enough people who already hate Valentine’s Day because they’re single, and they feel like the world is rubbing it in their faces. The last thing they need is this crazy degree of over-the-top spending to fan the flames of their irritation.
Well, I’m here to fight for the true spirit of Valentine’s Day. Or, what I want to be the true spirit of Valentine’s Day – a celebration of Love in all its forms. Not just the edible underwear kind. A celebration of real Love doesn’t leave anyone out and it doesn’t cost a penny. And if it rubs anything in your face, consider yourself lucky.
As I alluded to in my last article, I had an especially introspective period about 15 years ago, during which I tapped into my unconscious and discovered some deep truths and fears. I had the sense that what I was unearthing wasn’t unique to me, but common to all of humankind. Carl Jung called this realm the collective unconscious, and he described it as a facet of our consciousness that is shared by everyone.
What I found here were some very basic fears: the fear of loving, the fear of being loved, and the fear of the loss of love. It all comes down to the last one, doesn’t it? When we think of what humans fear the most, death often comes to mind, but much of what scares us about death is the idea of the loss of love: losing everything we love about the world and our life, losing everyone’s love for us, and for those we love to lose us and our love for them.
It’s all an expression of the sad belief that Love is a capricious and conditional thing, and that humans are sort of in control of it. But this belief and the resulting fear we have around Love, which so squelches our experience and expression of it, results mainly from one central, subconscious confusion – that approval is Love. Approval is a crappy substitute for Love, though.
There’s a distinct difference between wanting and getting approval versus wanting and experiencing Love. See if you can bring to mind someone whose approval you want (maybe even your own), and then let just let yourself feel, in your body, what it’s like to want someone’s approval. It’s an unresolved sort of feeling, like we might not be altogether okay if we don’t get something that only they can give. For me, it’s an unpleasant yearning feeling. A subservient feeling.
When we tune in to this feeling – wanting the world to approve of us – it’s clear that following it isn’t going to serve our highest potential or make us feel truly satisfied. Even if we succeed at getting lots and lots of approval, it doesn’t quench the want of approval.
So, why do you think we’re going to spend $18.9 billion on Valentine’s Day presents? I’d guess that it has a bit more to do with approval than with Love. But, don’t let me stop you from getting flowers for someone special. I like calla lilies, by the way. Preferably a mix of white and colored ones, and maybe a massage as well.
However, just remember that Love cares nothing for flowers – at least not more than it does for anything else. Every one of us has the ability to consciously experience Love at will, to allow Love into all parts of ourselves, to withhold no Love from ourselves or others, and to actively Love every part of life. This makes approval a paltry goal in comparison. And this, my friends, is a devotion that’s worthy of a holiday.
Love the One You’re With,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => How to Get Lucky on Valentine’s Day
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => closed
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => get-lucky-valentines-day
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2019-05-26 02:21:52
[post_modified_gmt] => 2019-05-26 02:21:52
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => http://www.thedragontree.com/?p=4711
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 0
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[1] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 7596
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2019-07-30 17:59:10
[post_date_gmt] => 2019-07-30 17:59:10
[post_content] =>
A few days ago I was out in the sun in a beekeeping suit for hours, lifting frames of comb that were heavy and dripping with honey. We had to damage the bees’ work because they had “cross-combed” some of their frames together (built comb that bridged multiple “drawers” of their hive), so they were buzzing around us angrily and dive-bombing my face. It was getting very toasty in my suit, and then I started feeling my heartbeat in my head. I turned to Briana and I said, “I think I might pass out.”
I remembered a cooling technique one of my first yoga teachers taught me: you curl your tongue and inhale slowly through it like a straw, then exhale through your nose, and repeat. I don’t know if that’s what did it or if it was the Great Bee Spirit yelling into my mind, “Get it together, man! Do NOT drop that box full of thousands of bees!” I am happy to report that I didn’t faint and we finished our work without incident.
That convergence of tremendous heat and the beating of my heart reminded me that it’s a good time to revisit the lessons of the Fire Element. Fire presides over summer, when the Sun – the quintessence of Fire – is closest to us. In the human body, each element is represented by an internal organ. Can you guess what the main Fire organ is?
I’ll give you a hint. It’s red, it’s constantly pulsating, and it radiates its influence over the whole body. It’s the heart, of course – the sun of the human being. Over the past couple centuries, the brain has largely displaced the heart as the organ people think of as most important – but it would be worthless without constant, uninterrupted blood flow from the heart.
In traditional Chinese medical philosophy, each organ has a position in the community of the body-mind, and the heart is considered to be the Emperor/Empress. The ancient Daoists had a lot of wise things to say about leadership (see the classic, Dao De Jing by Lao Zi), and I think these insights are especially valuable at this time – particularly in the U.S. where recent years have brought intense sociopolitical division.
The role of the superior leader, Lao Zi wrote, is to integrate, to allow all parts of the kingdom to feel included. Before the throne of the superior leader, everyone is heard; no one is stifled or invalidated. As the Fire organ, we could say it’s like allowing the light and warmth of the sun to spread to and encompass the farthest reaches of the solar system. Even a planet as distant as Pluto is still held in the Sun’s grasp.
The role of the heart as an organ is the same – it wants to circulate its blood to all parts of the body. If there’s something sick or objectionable, like a sore on the foot, it doesn’t exclude the foot from its circulation. While that might kill the foot and eliminate the sore, it wouldn’t be real healing.
The heart is considered to be the portal by which Awareness (Shen) enters this body and mind. I consider the term Awareness here to be synonymous with Light of Consciousness, Holy Spirit, God, Love, or whatever word feels best to you. Let’s use Love for the moment, since it doesn’t push as many buttons as “God” and it shares a lot of qualities with Fire.
Until about 100 years ago, Fire (as the sun, campfires, candles, etc.) was the sole source of light and warmth in our world. When we open our hearts to Love, we feel a similar inner light and warmth. Love could be considered the heart’s greatest power. Love, like Fire, is a unifying force. People of all kinds and in all places look up to the same one light and are sustained by it. And though all manner of things can be fed into a fire, they become one homogeneous pile of ash – all differences rendered indistinguishable. The same is the case for Love.
The heart works best when it’s open. An open heart lets love and awareness through. An open heart is inclusive. But we’ve all closed our hearts many times. We do it as a reactive defense mechanism in order to not feel pain or other undesirable feelings. We do it whenever we refuse to accept some aspect of reality (like white supremacists or human trafficking, to name two of the hardest). Sometimes we believe it’s best not to feel at all – because that will make life easier or will make us strong and manly. So the heart remains mostly or entirely closed. Is it any wonder that the main cause of death is, essentially, closure of the heart and its vessels (we call this stroke, heart attack, and other forms of cardiovascular disease)?
The physical implications of closed hearts are relatively minor, though. The psychospiritual implications are where this habit hits us hardest. What are we left with when we exclude Love, Light, and Spirit from our lives? It’s like restricting ourselves to seeing just one color (it’s called Pantone 448 C, by the way). It makes us think of the world in terms of “us and them.” It causes us to focus on what’s wrong instead of what’s right. And it enables us to be willfully ignorant of the impacts of our choices on other humans and the planet (though not entirely ignorant – there's always a part of us that knows).
I believe the work of the heart (through the power of love) is absolute inclusion. Feel everything. Accept everything – even the things you’re working to change. Accept everyone – even those you condemn (they have something to teach you about your shadow). This is not an invitation to bypass the work before you. It’s a call to step into that work with an open heart.
If there’s something you don’t like about the world, or a person you find difficult, consider the likely outcome of rejecting or excluding them. How would you respond to being condemned? Like the sick foot, does this person heal through exclusion?
Find the parts of your kingdom (within and without) that you have excluded, and let your love rush into them. If there’s something you don’t like, begin with inclusion. Say, “I completely love, forgive, and accept myself – even though I have this {issue that I find objectionable}” or “I completely love, forgive, and accept you – even though I disagree with your views {or even condemn your actions}.” You may even find your heart saying, “Even though I must stop you from harming others, I completely love, forgive, and accept the essential being that you are, and I welcome the healing of your mind and the re-emergence of that essence.”
Saturate and envelop, and draw into your heart, the orphaned and rejected elements of yourself and the world. I believe this is our soul work; this is how we heal the world.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => The Heart of Summer
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => the-heart-of-summer
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2019-07-31 17:15:31
[post_modified_gmt] => 2019-07-31 17:15:31
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => http://thedragontree.com/?p=7596
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 6
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[2] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 7705
[post_author] => 5
[post_date] => 2019-11-26 23:10:59
[post_date_gmt] => 2019-11-26 23:10:59
[post_content] =>
I was jogging on the mesa behind our house and my thoughts went to the upcoming holidays and my cycles of introversion and extroversion. For me, social gatherings inevitably spur a yearning to be alone or look at my phone or eat. As I gazed at the peaks and valleys of the mountain range in front of me, I realized that this pattern is an expression of the cycling of yin and yang that’s present everywhere in the universe. I’d like to share my thoughts with you in the hope that it will make for a more balanced holiday season.
In social behavior, this cycle moved from an outward orientation (yang) to an inward orientation (yin) and back. Texting, talking, dancing with others, partying, and co-working are all relatively outward activities. Reading the news, playing a video game (alone), taking a bath, eating, and meditating are all relatively inward activities. After some outward activity, most people feel a desire to go inward. After some inward activity, most people feel a desire to go outward.
We see this cycle from inward to outward to inward to outward, or from expansion to contraction to expansion to contraction, throughout the human body (breathing and the beating of the heart), human behavior, and the natural world. This undulating pattern is seen in the waves of our oceans, in waves of sound and light, in the movement of sexual intercourse, in waking and sleeping, and so much more.
When our inward-outward social patterns are relatively balanced, it works. But if there’s a compulsion to go inward and stay there, to always be gazing at a screen, to be in our bubble, or to eat on autopilot, it’s worth looking at. The same is true for someone who is always socially-engaged and feels uncomfortable going inward or being alone. People can become stagnant in one phase or the other. So I propose we use the holidays as an opportunity for a social experiment and personal growth. I believe both inward and outward activities can be either shallow or deep, and going deep gets us out of stagnation by fulfilling us and moving the cycle along.
Here’s a graphical representation of the inward-outward cycle. I labeled something like 70% of the range of both inward and outward activities as “shallow.” This doesn’t mean they’re frivolous, just that they aren’t soul-nourishing in a way that moves the cycle forward. If we make small talk with our coworkers, then play Candy Crush, then send some emails, then eat lunch while browsing a magazine, and so on throughout the day, this curve would look much flatter – we’re moving from shallow external activity to shallow internal activity and never approaching the “peaks.”
It’s hard to be black-and-white in defining what’s shallow and what’s deep, and what’s outward versus what’s inward – but it’s something we can feel. I called eating an inward activity, but of course there could simultaneously be an outward element of social interaction. Coworking could be very outward or somewhat inward, depending on whether it’s very collaborative and verbal or just a bunch of people introverting near each other. Reading about celebrities is what I’d call a “shallow inward” activity. Talking about celebrities is what I’d call a “shallow outward” activity. Meditation is usually a “deep inward” activity. And having sex – or more specifically, connected love-making – is usually a “deep outward” activity.
Thus, in both inward and outward activities, there’s an opportunity to go to a certain depth where the orientation becomes both internal and external. So, while meditation is an inward activity, when you really go deep with it, there can be an expansiveness, a transcendence of your small self, a sense of connection with everything – and therefore an outward orientation. Similarly, while traveling is mostly an outward activity, when we witness the vastness of nature or the beauty of other cultures or the oneness we all share, the profundity of such an expansive moment can turn us inward. We come into our hearts and are silenced and grateful.
I created a more descriptive diagram of what’s going on. This sphere with a hole through the center, kind of a donut shape, is known as a torus. When dealing with energy, it’s called a toroidal field. Humans have toroidal fields of energy that move in both directions. That is, the energy can move up from the center, then outward, down, and up through the bottom. And it can also move down through the center, then outward, up, and down through the top. What I mean to depict here is that when we go deep, we go through whatever state we’re in and move toward the opposing state. When we go outward and deep, this fulfills our urge to extrovert and takes us inward. When we go inward and deep, this fulfills our urge to introvert and takes us outward. Yin becomes Yang and Yang becomes Yin.
What does this all mean in practical terms? There’s nothing wrong with being introverted or extroverted, and nothing wrong with shallower activities, but if you find yourself getting stuck in either phase, or having difficulty with either phase, try going deeper. As a general guide, bringing your full presence to whatever you’re doing will take you deeper.
In an outward-oriented setting, like a Thanksgiving social gathering, how can you get more real? Can you ask what challenges your friends are facing and be totally present for them? Can you connect more deeply than a conversation about turkey or the weather? Can you share what’s alive for you right now? Can you finally be who you really are around your family? When you’re with people can you be 100% with them? If you find yourself in a game of touch football, can you lose yourself in the spirit of play?
How can you make your introverted periods really count? If you sneak off to the bathroom to play on your phone, can you put it down for a minute and really go inward? Can you feel and acknowledge and accept what’s coming up for you? Can you invite the feelings and take the time and presence to see where they lead you? Can you hear your inner child, meet it with your mature inner adult, and give it what it needs to be at ease – so you can return to the party in a lighthearted way? Can you remember to prioritize meditation and other forms of deliberate stillness throughout the busyness of the holidays?
What happens to your phases of introversion and extroversion when you intentionally go deep in both directions? I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments section below.
With love,
Peter
[post_title] => Go Deep for the Holidays
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => go-deep-for-the-holidays
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2019-11-27 00:19:34
[post_modified_gmt] => 2019-11-27 00:19:34
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => http://thedragontree.com/?p=7705
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 6
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
)
[post_count] => 3
[current_post] => -1
[before_loop] => 1
[in_the_loop] =>
[post] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 4711
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2015-02-10 07:52:34
[post_date_gmt] => 2015-02-10 15:52:34
[post_content] =>
This year, Americans are projected to spend $18.9 billion on Valentine’s Day gifts, which just goes to show you what a powerful force Love is. Because, more than anything else, Love is about presents. Indeed, from the time of cave people, archeologists have found fossils of heart shaped boxes filled with an assortment of the most delectable bits of mammoth meat.
But, seriously, that $18.9 billion figure is a fact. Has Valentine’s Day gone the way of Christmas – a virtuous sentiment that’s turned in a shopping frenzy? I know enough people who already hate Valentine’s Day because they’re single, and they feel like the world is rubbing it in their faces. The last thing they need is this crazy degree of over-the-top spending to fan the flames of their irritation.
Well, I’m here to fight for the true spirit of Valentine’s Day. Or, what I want to be the true spirit of Valentine’s Day – a celebration of Love in all its forms. Not just the edible underwear kind. A celebration of real Love doesn’t leave anyone out and it doesn’t cost a penny. And if it rubs anything in your face, consider yourself lucky.
As I alluded to in my last article, I had an especially introspective period about 15 years ago, during which I tapped into my unconscious and discovered some deep truths and fears. I had the sense that what I was unearthing wasn’t unique to me, but common to all of humankind. Carl Jung called this realm the collective unconscious, and he described it as a facet of our consciousness that is shared by everyone.
What I found here were some very basic fears: the fear of loving, the fear of being loved, and the fear of the loss of love. It all comes down to the last one, doesn’t it? When we think of what humans fear the most, death often comes to mind, but much of what scares us about death is the idea of the loss of love: losing everything we love about the world and our life, losing everyone’s love for us, and for those we love to lose us and our love for them.
It’s all an expression of the sad belief that Love is a capricious and conditional thing, and that humans are sort of in control of it. But this belief and the resulting fear we have around Love, which so squelches our experience and expression of it, results mainly from one central, subconscious confusion – that approval is Love. Approval is a crappy substitute for Love, though.
There’s a distinct difference between wanting and getting approval versus wanting and experiencing Love. See if you can bring to mind someone whose approval you want (maybe even your own), and then let just let yourself feel, in your body, what it’s like to want someone’s approval. It’s an unresolved sort of feeling, like we might not be altogether okay if we don’t get something that only they can give. For me, it’s an unpleasant yearning feeling. A subservient feeling.
When we tune in to this feeling – wanting the world to approve of us – it’s clear that following it isn’t going to serve our highest potential or make us feel truly satisfied. Even if we succeed at getting lots and lots of approval, it doesn’t quench the want of approval.
So, why do you think we’re going to spend $18.9 billion on Valentine’s Day presents? I’d guess that it has a bit more to do with approval than with Love. But, don’t let me stop you from getting flowers for someone special. I like calla lilies, by the way. Preferably a mix of white and colored ones, and maybe a massage as well.
However, just remember that Love cares nothing for flowers – at least not more than it does for anything else. Every one of us has the ability to consciously experience Love at will, to allow Love into all parts of ourselves, to withhold no Love from ourselves or others, and to actively Love every part of life. This makes approval a paltry goal in comparison. And this, my friends, is a devotion that’s worthy of a holiday.
Love the One You’re With,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => How to Get Lucky on Valentine’s Day
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => closed
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => get-lucky-valentines-day
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2019-05-26 02:21:52
[post_modified_gmt] => 2019-05-26 02:21:52
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => http://www.thedragontree.com/?p=4711
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 0
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[comment_count] => 0
[current_comment] => -1
[found_posts] => 55
[max_num_pages] => 2
[max_num_comment_pages] => 0
[is_single] =>
[is_preview] =>
[is_page] =>
[is_archive] => 1
[is_date] =>
[is_year] =>
[is_month] =>
[is_day] =>
[is_time] =>
[is_author] =>
[is_category] => 1
[is_tag] =>
[is_tax] =>
[is_search] =>
[is_feed] =>
[is_comment_feed] =>
[is_trackback] =>
[is_home] =>
[is_privacy_policy] =>
[is_404] =>
[is_embed] =>
[is_paged] =>
[is_admin] =>
[is_attachment] =>
[is_singular] =>
[is_robots] =>
[is_favicon] =>
[is_posts_page] =>
[is_post_type_archive] =>
[query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => e3657d80b61b1e6ae624aae9e78d4e6d
[query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] =>
[thumbnails_cached] =>
[allow_query_attachment_by_filename:protected] =>
[stopwords:WP_Query:private] =>
[compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => query_vars_hash
[1] => query_vars_changed
)
[compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => init_query_flags
[1] => parse_tax_query
)
)
Good job, Peter. I completely concur.
I offer you, in return, love, peace. lightness and gratitude for your bringing to the world your creations, care and teaching in a way that is pure Peter. Bless you and yours!